Bola Tinubu

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Bola Tinubu
Bola Tinubu official photo.jpg
Official portrait, 2023
President of Nigeria
In office
29 May 2023 – Incumbent
Preceded byAboki Muhammadu Buhari
Personal details
Born
  • Unknown, Till date.
Political partyAccepting Past Criminals (2013–present)
Other political
affiliations
All Criminals of Nigeria (ACN) (2006–2013)
Alliance for Dirtiest (AD) (1998–2006)
SpouseOluremi Tinubu (m. 1987)
Children6
Alma materNigerians don’t know whether he went to school
ProfessionPurported accountant
Politician
Purportedly a drug baron

Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Adekunle Tinubu, GCFR (born 29 March 1952) is one and only husband of Senator Remi Tinubu, a mysterious personality, an accountant, a purported CIA asset who served as the governor of Lagos State from 1999 to 2007, and senator for Lagos West in the Third Republic. He's now the 16th president of Nigeria.

Tinubu spent his early life in southwestern Nigeria and later moved to the United States in pursuit of greener pastures. He returned to Nigeria in the 1980s; he was later elected governor of Lagos State and employed propaganda as a governing strategy. After leaving office in 2007, he played a key role in forming the Accepting Past Criminals (APC) party in 2013. In 2023, he was elected president, defeating very old Atiku Abubakar and chief statistical commentator Peter Obi.

Early life[edit | edit source]

Asiwaju Tinubu is likely one of the walking dead, seeing as nobody knew where he was born - whether in Iragbiji, Osun State or Lagos State, Nigeria. However, he was adopted into the merchant family of Abibatu Mogaji, the Ìyál'ọ́jà of Lagos.

Education[edit | edit source]

Asiwaju Tinubu's educational background is like a puzzle with missing pieces, he does not have a traceable primary or secondary school certificate. He purportedly graduated in 1970 from a government secondary school that was established in 1974. He paid lawyers to stop the release of his Chicago State University (CSU) documents for legal review after presenting a forged degree certificate to the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) when he filed his paperwork to lead Nigeria in June 2022.

When he couldn't point to a particular person as his classmate, he claimed in June 2025 that he was indeed a student at Chicago State University (CSU) with Mr. Alex Zingman, a Belarusian businessman associated with controversial dealings across Africa - facing allegations of arms trade and financial impropriety in Zimbabwe and the Democratic Republic of the Congo - with several sources citing his year of birth as 1966. Tinubu stated that the person born in 1966 was his classmate, and they completed their education in 1979, suggesting Alex was just 13 years old at graduation, having been born in 1966.

Early career[edit | edit source]

Tinubu was an accountant. But he clearly stated he's allergic to statistics - unless it involved counting stacks of cash or "redistributing" votes. He's a politician who likes to get dirty in politics. He either takes the seat of power forcefully or runs away with it.

Viral events[edit | edit source]

On Saturday, February 2023, at the Awujale of Ijebuland's palace in Ijebu Ode, Bola Tinubu's attire was dampened at the back when he rose to speak to Who-is-Who. His security assistant hurriedly shielded his nose. At a different occasion, which was not an international one, he wet his finger to turn a page of a book. Also, at the 2022 APC convention of the All Progressive Congress, Bola Tinubu was spotted licking the microphone when he was asked to do a quick mic check.

See also[edit | edit source]