Bad Piggies

A bad socialist piggy

Bad Piggies was a secret project undertaken by the CIA in the early 90s in order to sift through the population of 3rd world countries and find people capable of building vehicles that posed a threat to democracy. The targets would download the game and build airplanes and other vehicles, and if they proved to be able to do so in realistic ways, the CIA would then assassinate these potential threats. Unfortunately, the project was scrapped thanks to all the money going to hookers and blow that for unknown reasons frequented the Oval Office (known colloquially as the Oral Office at this point in history). However, project files were leaked onto a newly born internet as .zip files, and a mobile game company named Rovio managed to download them with minimal viruses attached, and finish the game. Some parts were removed due to a lingering copyright and fear or retaliation, such as the "Assassinate Nixon" level, and the "White House Down" section.

The game

The idea behind the game is that you, the player, takes control of a nation of poor pig-like specimens, who have no appendages or torsos, appearing to be decapitated yet still alive. These creatures can use a crude form of telekinesis, but cannot in any way control their own bodies, meaning they will roll and tumble to their demise if pushed or placed near a small slope or cliff. The game has you take charge of a branch in their nation devoted to the manufacturing and testing of vehicles made for ground travel, aerial travel, and for war. Players will utilize commonly found 3rd world goods such as pieces of wood, aluminum, fireworks, and 2-stroke motorcycle engines to create vehicles that can overcome any obstacle, any terrain, and any sort of service secretly protecting a certain leader of a certain nation. The user made vehicles follow highly realistic physics laws, and while some critiqued the way that a soda rocket could launch a large pig-oid creature into orbit in the game, scientists achieved orbit similarly in real life with only a bottle rocket and the severed head of a hog, proving it to be scientifically accurate.

Features

• Realistic physics simulations
• Realistic terrain that dynamically impacts the use made vehicles
• Mutant pigs with only their heads remaining
• Automatic IP upload of the user to a CIA database in Langley, Virginia
• No angered pigeons, eagles, hawks, or turkeys

Reception

An American hating pig!

The only people who were unenthused about its release were the CIA, the Secret Service, and the US president. The rest of the world jubilantly received the gift they had been given by Rovio and the American government, and it has since become something of a cult classic.

Real Quotes

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" - pig, moments before falling to his death "*OOOOWUHHCHHH" - pig, moments before transitioning into low earth orbit after a bottle rocket test

See also

• Video games
• Angry Birds
• Angry Birds 2