Bad Piggies

Bad Piggies is a game where pigs terrorize the entire world by building random shit to steal everything like they are retards.

Plot

Ross, needing to go on an heist to steal the bullshit eggs, make a vechile, and build random shit.

Features

• Over 200 levels of “WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO?”
• Exploding soda cans – the fuel of champions.
• Vehicles with zero OSHA compliance.
• Sandbox mode, a realm where logic dies.
• "Cake Race", where pigs fight over pastries in the most violent bake-off ever.

Notable Pigs

• Ross – A drunk pig who tries to get eggs.
• Mechanic Pig – Fixes everything with a wrench and existential dread.
• King Pig – Hires unpaid interns to do his job, because of laziness of eating cakes.
• Corpse Pig – Canonically appears when you break the laws of pig-physics.

Reception

Critics were confused but amused. The game scored ∞/10 from Random Pigeon Gaming Monthly and was voted "Most Likely to Cause Players to Build a Real Flying Machine Using IKEA Parts" by Totally Real Reviews Quarterly.

• IGN: “I don’t know what I just played, but I can’t stop playing it.”
• Metacritic: Gave up and listed it under “Educational Software.”
• NASA: “Please stop emailing us blueprints made of cardboard.”

Spin-offs

• Bad Piggies 2 – Launched in 2023, removed before anyone noticed. Some say it was too powerful.
• Bad Piggies Kart – Rumored. Never happened. Only exists in the dreams of Finnish game devs. Pigs would run over angry birds with their cars.

Secret Lore

• Ross has a doctorate in Applied Balloonology.
• All pigs are legally registered engineers in the nation of Elbonia.
• The entire game is a metaphor for capitalism collapsing under the weight of bad design choices.

Real Quotes

• "I built a tank and it flew backward into a minefield." – Happy Player #392
• "Why does the chicken scream when I win?" – Traumatized Child
• "Physics was a mistake." – Ross, probably

See Also

• Angry Birds