Attack of the Killer Boobs

Homicidal hooters's fatal lactation

''Attack of the Killer Boobs'' was a 1959 B-movie starring Ann-Margaret’s boobs as a pair of extraterrestrial killers that had attached themselves to a young woman’s chest at the onset of her puberty.

Triple feature feature

The movie, which was shot on black-and-white film, was offered at drive-in theaters across the country as the third feature in triple-feature packages, but it was soon withdrawn when moviegoers complained that the film was “pornographic.” The movie was replaced by Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, with tomatoes appearing in place of Ann-Margaret’s boobs. Ever since then, "tomatoes" have been another of the many, ever-increasing number of euphemisms for mammary glands.

Replacement

The vegetables (some contend that they are fruits) were not nearly as effective as sexual attractants, however, and the extraterrestrial killers succeeded in killing only one male, homosexual film star Rock Hudson.

Release on DVD

Attack of the Killer Boobs was re-released on DVD in 2005 and, according to The Hollywood Reporter, has become a “minor cult classic” among teenage boys. There has been some talk in Hollywood of reviving the movie and filming it as it had originally been intended to be seen. In place of Ann-Margaret, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ashley Judd, and Reese Witherspoon have appeared on casting directors’ short lists, according to The Reporter.

Remake

A remake of the cult classic, tentatively called Revenge of Homicidal Hooters, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Pamela Anderson, is in the works. In this version of the original film, Hewitt's and Anderson's hooters detach themselves from their characters' chests at night, join thousands of other boobs, and, in a massive stampede, roll through the countryside, attacking flat-chested females, women who have had breast implants, and actresses who have no-nudity clauses in their contracts.

An attempt to corral the killer boobs, so to speak, is made by Freddie Prinze, Jr., in the role of Sheriff Boo Zumm, by setting up a barricade consisting of a giant brassiere across the interstate highway down which the boobs have seen traveling. He wants to save the nation, he says, from "bosom overexposure" and, the actor admitted in an aside, he'd like to present the boobs to his wife, actress Sarah Michelle Gellar, who is "a little on the flat side." The barricade idea doesn't work, however, and Zimm must think of another way to stop the homicidal hooters, whose milk melts through whatever it touches as though the fluid were an acid.

The remake's producer, Steven Spielberg, was tempted to call the film "Lethal Lactation," but he decided he'd save this title for the third installment in his trilogy. The second episode, he says, will star an actress, Big Tits Louise, who is unknown except to X-rated video fans and will be called Bra Busters.

Pee Wee Herman has agreed to direct the remake.