Alfa Romeo 69420
| Alfa Romeo 69420 | |
|---|---|
 big ass | |
| Overview | |
| Manufacturer | Alfa Romeo |
| Model code | SUKDIK |
| Production | 69 BC - 420 AD |
| Model years | 70 BC - 420 AD |
| Assembly | Shingdong, China |
| Designer | John Pork |
| Body and chassis | |
| Class | Black-Hole Size Family Car (Z-Segment) |
| Body style | 2-Door Assmobile |
| Layout | Rear-Engine, Front-Wheel-Drive |
| Platform | Stellantis GYATT-Platform |
| Powertrain | |
| Engine | 6.9 Litre Single-Cylinder |
| Transmission | 2-Speed Autotragic |
| Dimensions | |
| Length | pi |
| Width | lots |
| Height | plenty |
| Curb weight | more than your mom |
The Alfa Romeo 69420 (W's in the chat) is a big gyatt car produced by the 'Murican businessman John Pork between 69 BC and 420 AD. It was unveiled in January 69 BC at the 69 BC Ohio Motor Show, with the first public launch in March 69 BC, at the Peppermint Hippo Strip Club. A total of 69420 units were made before it was replaced by Your Mother.
Design[edit | edit source]
The Alfa Romeo 69420 stands as a breathtaking masterpiece of automotive design, a true blend of elegance and boldness that turns every head it passes. Crafted under the visionary guidance of John Pork, the world-renowned digital icon and unexpected design prodigy, the 69420 pushes the boundaries of Italian craftsmanship. Every curve of the car flows with aerodynamic purpose, while its aggressive front fascia and sculpted rear hint at the raw power beneath the hood. John Pork’s unique flair for blending classic Alfa Romeo heritage with futuristic styling shines through in the fine details — from the hand-stitched leather interior to the signature grille that pulses with life. The 69420 isn't just a car; it's a rolling piece of art, forever redefining what a modern Alfa Romeo can be.
The 69420 was designed by John Pork and his team of engineers, but in the end, Mr. Pork was the sole remaining designer as all of the engineers died from having too little blood in their brains.... Because it was... let's just say... in the peanits.
The design was based off your mother's ass which was the previous year's model.
Specifications[edit | edit source]
The Alfa Romeo 69420 is powered by a 6.9 Litre Single-Cylinder engine that sucks, squeezes, bangs and blows harder than anything else on the market. it also has no suspension at all, which provides a cheap massage experience*.
*Alfa Romeo (tm) is not responsible for any bones which may be broken in the process.
Use in law enforcement[edit | edit source]
The 69420 was an extremely popular police vehicle, most notably being used in the city of Tralalerotralala, Italy, where it is used to ram criminals who flee on foot. It was also equipped with a BKM (Ball kicking mechanism) which is used to obliterate the balls of male suspects.
| This article needs more work. See ICU and below for details. This page will be re-checked on 3 May 2025, and if not improved will face deletion. | ||
| someone should get King Harkinian and Mama Luigi to fight back this amount of brainrot | ||
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