If you're here to complain about something I promised to do but haven't yet done, I usually stick to the motto...
"Expect it when you least expect it"
It'll be done sometime, nae worry lad/ladette.
Okay, you mangy colonists.[edit source]
I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:56, November 11, 2009 (UTC)
I dared conclude our votings. Also, I've made a list of basic essentials. Look here :-) — Praetorian the Glorious Strategist. 21:06, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
Enjoy your new archived talk page. Cheers, ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:15, 18 November 2009
Sid, would you inform the Ambassadors about the meeting on Saturday? Please give them the link on our Basic Essentials. — Praetorian the Glorious Strategist. 18:02, November 19, 2009 (UTC)
Ok, thank you.-- Magnus
Come here 10:48, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
Hi there. I've read the message you left on my domestic talk page, and thank you for constantly keeping me up to date. Unfortunately, however, working duties actually prevent me from joining the big conference, so unless I can find some other Italian guy to attend it in my stead, I'll likely need you to provide me with some more updates. Have a nice time with the other dudes though :) --Citroen CX 11:54, November 21, 2009 (UTC)
Actually, it's pink and beetroot :D. I had no idea from whence it came but I like your explanation :) Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 18:28, November 25, 2009 (UTC)
Dear, Sid
Sorry for my absent in meeting. I had got my new job and was sent to a lost world. Overthere, I was locked in a hell cell, turtured by someone looked like John McCain. Fortunately, Lord Vegeta came to rescue me and killed that wander with his mighty Final Flash, so I can write to you now.
Thanks to our uncyclopedia, I could lie anyone I wish to as long as it's not stupid, lol. Anyway, what I told you above is partly true.
Sorry about my absent and thank for your invitation
--Brandy Frisky 16:22, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
- Me2. However i am not an offical member, still thinking. Or just not a member but just following it. To make the no-visit a bit good, i made a new logo. See this or the Foreign office page. R7 (NL)
Want to join the Uncyclopedia Legal Dept.? If you do, I'll drop a summons template on your page. If not, I won't. It requires nothing but you can also do stuff if you like. -- Style Guide 19:02, December 7, 2009 (UTC)
Re: Continued Studies In Canine Defecation[edit source]
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WELCOME TO VORTEX 102
The first semester will cover the entire spectrum of human biological vortices, with the first quarter focusing exclusively on the colonic vortex. In this animated simulation, the event horizon (colon) can be clearly distinguished. Unlike the hydraulic, atmospheric and gravitational vortex, the biological vortices aren't open ended systems with dubious conclusions as to where the crap goes in and comes out. Since biological systems are easily identifiable and make for an easy study, we'll be spending a lot of time on them. By understanding the biological vortices, we may glean insight into the larger picture. The foundation of all knowledge starts with the colonic vortex so study this animated gif for no less than an hour a day for the next week. Thank You! Dr S
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While there are currently no available classes specifically covering canine defecation, this course will suffice and be counted as credit toward your degree.-- 16:28, December 10, 2009 (UTC)
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Thank You For Finally Taking Out The Trash Unfortunately, the situation in the kitchen has not changed. I made it a point to not create a single dirty dish in this sink for the very purpose of demonstrating to you that the mess in the kitchen is not somehow our problem but is, in fact, your problem. Technically, that makes it my problem as well but said problem is one of inconvenience as opposed to the complete negligence inherent in your failure to clean up after yourself. It's also come to my attention that you and your friends have been urinating in the kitchen sink, despite the fact that it's full of dirty dishes. while your reluctance to touch the dishes is understandable it does not form a basis for me to empathize with you. While I shouldn't be bargaining with you again, I'll agree to clear a path to the bathroom sink so that everyone will have a place to urinate. All you need to do is simply dispose of the dirty dishes. We'll buy more at the flea market.
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Thanks again!-- 13:05, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
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Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome To Violence
...the word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favorite mantle still remains... sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled. Yet violence doesn't only destroy, it creates and molds as well. Let's examine closely then this dangerously evil creation, this new breed encased and contained within the supple skin of woman. The softness is there, the unmistakable smell of female, the surface shiny and silken, the body yielding yet wanton. But a word of caution: handle with care and don't drop your guard. This rapacious new breed prowls both alone and in packs, operating at any level, any time, anywhere, and with anybody. Who are they? One might be your secretary, your doctor's receptionist... or a dancer in a go-go club!....................................................
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Gahooga!-- 16:07, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
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HITLER AND MUSSOLINI INVADED COUNTRIES
THANK YOU TEMPLATES INVADE TALK PAGES
TEMPLATES ARE LIKE HITLER AND MUSSOLINI
A vote "For" an article on VFH is a vote "For" Hitler and Mussolini!!
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This talk page looks like France in 1941! -- 13:28, January 12, 2010 (UTC)
Hey Sid, don't know if you noticed but I've added a little more to Alice in Sunderland. What do you think? Also, I was thinking: if you have any ideas for it, but don't know how to put it into words, then let me know and I'll see what I can do, as once more I'm out of ideas. --Hugs and kisses, Black_Flamingo 09:19, December 14, 2009 (UTC)
Cut me some slack, I'm lazy busy[edit source]
User:Zana Dark/Templates/Purple Nurples/6
Thanks! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:26, 18 December 2009
User:Zana Dark/Templates/Purple Nurples/4
And yet again! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 23:00, 18 December 2009
I have added a bit to the article. I could possibly add more, but we'll see as it is approaching time to go to work. I just wanted to mention this to you though, as your former adopter:
VFH voting is certainly your opinion, and I do not hold it against you at all. That being said, however, I noticed that you voted 'against' butter, an article hand-crafted by myself. Now you don't have to vote 'for' - that would be biased and unfair - but just so you know, I would never vote 'against' an article created by you, or any of my noobs, or anything but what I felt was an 'invalid nomination'. It's just a matter of principles and politeness, you know? Something to think about, that is all. If you wish to review your vote, as I said I have added to the article since you cast your ballot. If you really feel that the article is a fail, I will accept either decision.
Truly, ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:33, 19 December 2009
- I'm commenting here not because I'm buttering--I mean butting--my nose in but because Zana posted a link to this for me. I see voting as a democratic right, which I'm sure Zana does as well. When I see an article on VFH, I do not read any comments. I click on the article, read it, make my opinion, then if I feel for or against, decide to vote (or sometimes just to comment, and other times to post nothing). After I decide how I'm going to vote, I look at other people's comments. This way they don't influence my vote, but could influence my wording--for example, if I was going to bring out a point I thought was a problem with the article but three people already said the same thing, I'll probably focus on something else. Most of the time I don't even know who wrote the article until after I voted; sometimes knowing who wrote it is unavoidable, as I may have seen it while in progress, made some edits to it, or even Pee Reviewed it. I try to stay as objective as possible, and have voted against articles that were written by people I really like here. I would hope that any noob I adopted would feel free to vote as they believe, and not based on who wrote the article. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 19:37, December 19, 2009 (UTC)
- Absolutely, as I said, I would accept his vote for that very reason. I am merely suggesting he review, and as my noob I am offering some (perhaps unwanted) coaching. Why is not my noob, so he can disregard the prerogative bits, as he is a legal associate of mine and has no obligations to me other than that. Vote however you want, and maybe abstaining sometimes is okay too.
- Note: I just added even moar buttery morsels to the article, so if you both would kindly re-read at your earliest convenience. :) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:14, 19 December 2009
I remember when you were just the new guy.[edit source]
Arbophilia looks like genius in the making. If you don't mind my asking, can we collab on it? I've got sone decent ideas, particularly a link to environmentalism ("tree-hugging.") ~~Sir Fightstar Rocks! CUN 00:47, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
Better late than later[edit source]
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Thank you Geez, now don't I feel like an idiot. I forgot to thank you for voting me Noob of the Month...back in August 2009. While I disappeared shortly after receiving the award, I have now, like Spiderman, decided to live up the responsibility of wielding it's power. If you, like Jesus, can find it in your heart to forgive me, please send $1 to Forgetful Man P.O Box 5564 NSW, Australia.
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Thanks for the vote. Sequence 05:59, January 19, 2010 (UTC)
Hi Sid,
Right now, I'm trying to get Roemenie into shape so that I can nominate it in VFH. One of the main issues Sequence put forward in his Pee Review was the wording. Because I am not a native speaker, there are a fair lot of errors. Would you mind helping me fixing them? It'd be really great if I could get the article featured, or at least quasi-featured.
Awaiting your response at my talk page,
L. Catepé //// Talk //// Work | 16:46, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!
EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!
For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court) 19:44, January 30, 2010 (UTC)
ATTENTION COLONIZERS: WE ARE RECREATING CREATIONISM[edit source]
The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!
Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 05:26, February 11, 2010 (UTC)
User:PuppyOnTheRadio/MKB
Pup 09:10, 15/02/2010
HowTo: Ask someone to do a spelling check on Roemenie subtly?[edit source]
- Lesson 1: “Start with some small talk instead of asking the question directly.” (Failed)
- Lesson 2: “Tell the person you're asking that Roemenie is finished.” (Success)
- Lesson 3: “Don't rush him by telling the whole Oncy is excited about the article maybe getting featured, thus putting pressure on him.” (Failed)
- Lesson 4: “Encourage him by doing all sorts of promises you may or may not be able to keep regarding the Foreign Office.” (Success)
- Lesson 5: “Finish by showing your gratitude in advance and say you greatly appreciate his help.” (Success)
Oh well, 6 out of 10. That's sufficient, right? Anyway, please do the spelling check soon. I really want to try getting the article featured. After all, it would greatly boost the FO's popularity.
By the way, do you know how things are going in France? Last time we heard from the little baguetteurs, Pirk or Wiikend was going to try and make foreign articles legible for voting. L. Catepé //// Talk //// Work | 16:57, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
Heya Sidd, long time no talk. Hows the foreign office treating you? - - - Pie+Muffin = Greatness Barf- + -Observe 15:48, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
- I think Sid may be on his travels and out of internet range. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 15:23, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
- It's a shame, he was a good user. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 16:29, April 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Hello. Back, bored, looking for jobs, not applying for them, being lazy, might contribute something. Thanks for the love. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 13:18, June 7, 2010 (UTC)
...You can have it
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My plans for world domination are nearly complete now that HowTo:Survive the Titanic was featured!Thank you for your part in bringing about the end of the world.
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Hi Sid,
I'd like to ask you to spell/grammar/wording check Roemenie. I really want to nominate it, but I think the wording is a problem right now. Hurry, please, ad if you can't do it, please find someone else. I think this is going to be my last chance of getting the article into VFH.
Thanks,
L. Catepé //// Talk //// Work | 13:58, July 25, 2010 (UTC)
- Also, if I get banned, please delete all traces of Dutch coöperation on the Foreign Office. As a friendly favour. Thanks. L. Catepé //// Talk //// Work | 09:42, July 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Doing so immediately, will oblige with 2nd request too if necessary, though I hope it's not. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 14:57, July 31, 2010 (UTC)
These thanks templates will get shorter soon, I promise[edit source]
(1473 entries were redacted for space reasons—ed.)
TV Tropes is a feature! So I guess, even though I disowned it, I should thank you for your vote on VFH. Thanks! Sir MacMania GUN—[21:12 29 Jul 2010]
Joie de Discoverer une autre Fan de la Franglais[edit source]
Quelle surprise it was for moi de decouvrir une follower de la grand master Myles Kingston , Mon couer leapt in mon breast ! Est-ce-que vous avez eu la education secondaire a L'Angleterre par exemple ? Quant a moi c'etait l'Irlande ou j'ai completed mine. Je vais aller sleeper maintenant mais tout a l'hour mon nouveau friend -- ⦿⨦⨀ Phrage (talk) 05:33, August 26, 2010 (UTC)
wow... Have you got student grant? And yes, I'm shocked and I totally don't understand your decision. And tell me why you are moving here and in which city you are going to settle ;) Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 18:39, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
- You're a lucky guy, Sid. Those Polish girls are quite lovely. --Black Flamingo 17:16, October 11, 2010 (UTC)
Haha, Łomża? Nothing odd that you are bored there. Well, I live in Warsaw. and I will go to a New Year's Eve party at my friend's home. I think it's OK for you to come. when neccessary, you can later sleep in his home. But remember, it's Warsaw - it's rather far from Łomża but if you really want you may probably come but firstly I should ask the host ;p (but I believe he would agree as he is keen on meeting foreigners and talking to them ;p). Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 13:38, December 28, 2010 (UTC)
- Oh, I would forget. It's a party for people wearing suits ;p. I hope you have one. Otherwise you could feel a bit awkward here ;p (and before I ask, remind me your nationality and tell me if Sid is your real name. It would be wierd if he asked me what's your name and I didn't know ;p. Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 23:02, December 28, 2010 (UTC)
- Does this mean Siddharta-Wolf is Polish? O_o —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:03, 28 December 2010
Well, I didn't ask him yet, he wasn't online on facebook and I'm too lazy to call him ;p. Anyway, I don't know what you mean by "birthday suit". If it's normal black suit then it's OK I think. Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 00:54, December 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Well, that's what I was born in. --Black Flamingo 07:54, December 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Haha, I hope you're still fine with me coming in my birthday suit. But seriously, I have no suits, I'll have to find an alternative :( I'll pop by for a less formal occasion in the future if that's cool with you. --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 12:50, December 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Lol birthday suit - I didn't know this expression before ;p. If you will be visiting Warsaw in the future, let me know. Lol birthday suit... :P Sir Ptok-BentonicznyPisz tutaj • KUN 07:40, December 30, 2010 (UTC)
- Dzięki bardzo przyjaciel :D Do you have skype btw? --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 14:53, December 30, 2010 (UTC)
Psst. Over here. Hi. Look at "Safety Dance Literal Video" a little ways down on my user page and all will be explained. Then you can explain it to me. Aleister 13:21 8 1 '11
Thanks for voting on my UnNews article to be featured. For some reason yours and Mimo's votes only updated the For count, but your actual votes didn't register. Mind going back and voting again? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:37, January 9, 2011 (UTC)
Hey Sid! I noticed you removed your comment - and mine in response - to your reasons for abstaining on VFH for the Yardbirds article. Normally, you should have just struck through your comment to indicate you had changed your mind/vote. It's not a big deal but I know admins don't like users removing stuff off pages unless it is your own user page/sandbox. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:59, January 9, 2011 (UTC)
I come again to the wolves lair to speaketh of discordianism. On the page, what are your sticking points, if you have a minute. I will probably do an edit sweep again. This was a colonization page, and many of the people who've worked on it have gone away. Where do they go? I dunno, nor does anyone. They just go. So a couple of others and myself are looking at three colonization pages which are just about complete, this being one of them. Any help on suggestions or questions very welcome. Thanks. Aleister 23:54 9 1 '11
Thanks for votin...
-- 23:39, January 29, 2011 (UTC)
Hi Siddhartha. I kind of stumbled onto the Foreign Office recently and I was curious if it's still active? It seems like a really interesting project and I'm sorry to say I've unaware of it until now. I left a short list of UN:VITAL articles on the talk page that, hopefully, could be candidates for translation. If there's anything I can do, I'd be happy to help work on the project. MadMax 12:23, August 27, 2011 (UTC)
It's beginning to look a lot like…[edit source]
Seasons Greetings!
It's that special time of year. A wonderful time for friends and family to rejoice in gaiety. Not you! You usually spend all of your hard-earned money on gifts for them, and now you just want to hibernate until your finances recuperate. Well, here at Uncyclopedia, entering our newest competition won't cost you a penny — Sign Up Today! (pretty please) – (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 14:27, 13 December 2021