User talk:Videshi

Welcome!

Hey hey. Thanks for visiting. Make sure to put things you want to say to me in the correct place(s). (Edit the assigned area, or add a new area by hitting the "+" beside edit. I suggest using my format if you like me, though.)

IE: The Ask Cthulhu area

Cheers! -:Your pal, Videshi

UnNews:Ask Cthulhu

Yeah, that's right. Cthulhu now officially speaks through my... err... hands. If you have a question for him, feel free to give him an email. I'll wake him up, dodge his wrath (it's a complicated process, how I do that. Ask Cthulhu to explain it, he does it better than I do) and make sure the answer gets to you, the public, in a way that will not destroy you altogether.

email: askcthulhu@gmail.com

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Things you want to say to Videshi go down here!

If you go into the Uncyclopedia chatroom, I can get you access to Cthulhu's email, so it'd be easier to answer questions for him. FYI. Come in and ask for Brad, and I should be able to help you.--<<>> 03:04, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks, Brad. I'm trying to explain it to Cthulhu in a way that won't make him too angry. He's always kinda pissed, so it's more a matter of making him think about someone else. Well... you'll know if I fail! --Videshi 03:46, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Well, he does get rather cross when he wakes up. He's certainly not a morning person.--<<>> 03:53, 16 January 2007 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews Again

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Videshi, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

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You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

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If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

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If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

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At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, Zim. What a welcome party.

Why?

Why did you fuck with my "welcome to Unnews" template? Mess with me again and I'll ban your ass! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:25, 18 January 2007 (UTC)

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See your discussion page. For some reason, why I try to take it off my page, it goes to your template page, instead. I think it's because there are two "edit" areas; one edits my discussion page, one edits your template page. It was an accident, dude. --Videshi 00:08, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

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Yeah, I figured it was a mistake (the fact that you edited the page twice, making nonsensical changes, tipped me off), so I didn't immediately ban you. No harm, no fowl, or something to that effect.

I was feeling rather surly this morning, so you got the brunt of my... well, my surliness. I must make an award for the occasion: you've been subjected to the nastiest attack by me since I've been here.

My dogma, therefore, contributes to your good karma.

Due to the fact that I've recorded about 20 audios today, and I happen to have some rather high-grade reefer, I'm too tired and lazy to reconstruct the logic of how exactly you did that. Suffice it to say, I've done it at lease once myself, and I can't remember how it happened. I could blame my pain medications, I suppose... do you have any good excuses? I have an arsenal of excuses! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:27, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

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Well, yeah, I do. I teach kindergarten kids. We had "Looney Tunes" class, which makes them go batshit insane for the rest of the day. How's that for an excuse, lol? Here's to being responsible for little kids; *takes a drink of whiskey* --Videshi 03:38, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

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Ach! Kids! You poor misguided soul. Don't you know they're bad for your mental health? <tokes> heh heh... I'm still thinking of how to construct an award for you, but I may forget... I wonder how I coule forget? What? Oh, yeah, tubers.... mmmmmmm... I love 'em! And for doGs sake, teach those kids some mathematics before they're no longer trainable! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:09, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

RE UnNews:A Doozen Big Dudes Attack Mother Terrisa

You called it correctly, this story was a dud, and you may surmise I've deleted it. Next time, I recommend you QVFD it so an admin will more quickly delete or fix it. Thanks for your help Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:46, 24 January 2007 (UTC)

Have an award

Capercorn 19:17, 6 April 2007 (UTC)