UnNews:BBC spites Trump, makes Doctor Who a woman

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Tuesday, July 18, 2017

"I'm just sayin', I know doctors, I've visited doctors my entire life, fantastic doctors, the best, all of them, and none of them have had vuhjayjays." "You have tiny hands."

The BBC announced Sunday that they had selected Jodie Whittaker to play the Thirteenth Doctor in the upcoming series of Doctor Who, becoming the first woman to play the character in the 54 year history of the show. The choice has been met with celebration, yet more whining than anything else. And where's the smoke, there's fire, and where there's whining, there's a Wotsit wazzock leading the cries.

Through a complicated series of twists and plot contrivances, United States President Donald Trump was given the right to nominate his own candidate to play the iconic Time Lord, a nomination that the BBC ultimately rejected. New Doctor Who showrunner Chris Chibnall shared his feelings on the matter in an interview with BBC Radio 4:


Chibnall stated that his first choice to directly counter Trump's Larry the Cable Guy nomination was comedian John Oliver. Every episode would've featured the Doctor solving the problem of the week by giving one of his trademark epic speeches, but this time with non-sequitur jokes sprinkled in and lots of exaggerated humourous shouting. Meanwhile, sticking his head out the TARDIS and yelling the current year would be his Doctor's token eccentric quirk. Chibnall decided to scrap that idea in that, while progressive in it own right, that set-up for a television show would get old really fast.


The renegade decision comes with a grave risk for the BBC, given that Brexit is well underway and the struggling network is still relying on subsidies from the U.S. federal government. Spiting Donald Trump could have been an act of suicide, which Chibnall acknowledged as "worth it" while quoting Mexican revolutionary Emilano Zapata, "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees." Time will tell if President Trump will take it so personal as to completely cut off the BBC's lifeline. Fortunately, he seems to be doing what he usually does when someone slights him: Diddly-shit nothing except whining about it online.


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