Forum:Pine Needle-People

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 5455 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.


Quotes

"How could they not be people, it's in their NAME!" - Smart person

"All we wanted was your love" - Pine Needle-Person

"All I want is your blood" - Jennie

Pine Needle-People are people too

The Pine Needle-People are a less researched, though non the less interresting, invertebrate (spineless) branch of the Animal Kingdom, not unlike snails or French people. Though, what sepparates the Pine Needle-People from other members of the Animal Kingdom is the fact that they photosynthesize. But beware not to mix them up with plants, for the sun is not what initiates the photosynthesis; it is the love of human beings that has to radiate its glorious light upon them to keep them alive. In fact, the Pine Needle-People were the main reason the McDonalds "Day of Love" campaign was founded.

Some famous Pine Needle-People include Mary Kate Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Geri Halliwell, Renee Zelwegger, Teri Hatcher, Victoria Beckham, Nicole Kidman and Nicole Richie, who can all be recognized using the "Three Step Method". The Three Step Method essentially includes looking for three main features, namely the "retracted stomach", excessive throwing up after meals (this is, of course, because the Pine Needle-People do not need to consume human food other than for social reasons) and the ability to walk sideways through the spaces between the pages of books. Some critique has been shown towards the physical appearance of these famous Pine Needle-People and many claim that their diets are too confined. What these people do not realize is that through their constant critique of them, the Pine Needle-People are less and less provided with their only source of nurishment - love. The names of these critics have censored, Jennie, but they will, at the second coming of the evil Pine Godess, Xzenra, feel the fiery vengence of the rejected race. This second coming has been anticipated to occur some time tomorrow and will include fire, stabbing and Russian TV.

From this short introduction to the lives of Pine Needle-People, we hope you have leart to, if not love, at least respect their humble race and know that they mean you no harm. They are people too - Pine Needle-People.

Sources

  • Charles Dickens "[These Pine Needle-People are friggin awsome, dude. Hey, what are we smoking again? [...] Oh, yeah, opium. Pine Needle-People, a true story]" Dickens Publishing, 21/02, 1921
  • Jennie "[They are NOT PEOPLE! Say they're not people or I'll kick you in the crotch again! Jennie's Memoirs]" Katedral, 21/02, 2008


Inevitable vote section

Score: 1?
  1. Symbol for vote.svg For. Make it so Cassie. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN17:22, 28 Apr
  2. Symbol question.svg Huh? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 18:41, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
  3. I don't have a witty one-liner. I do, however, have an innie. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:06, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
  4. Feature! ~Jewriken.GIF 20:46, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
  5. I decline to comment on this controversial piece of travesty. --SoIwastolazytolearnGermanic.jpg-kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:36, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
  6. Sadly, this article come closer to making sense than many articles in mainspace. --Mnb'z 06:08, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
  7. Ankh smite.png Bless. Tree people need people. The Crazy Bitch, HouseMDfan 23:52, 30 April 2009 (UTC)

tl;dr

- T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 22:47, Apr 28

tlb;dr. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:13, 28 April 2009 (UTC)
You don't need a semicolon between "TLB" and "does rock." - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 00:39, Apr 29
How about an equals sign? Greater than sign? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 01:03, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
Woah, slow down Mr. "Educated." Just because I never learned any of your "greater than" or "equals" signs, or any of the rest of that "higher math" stuff, or "any math at all" is no reason to flaunt your intellectual elitism all over the forums. - T.L.B. Baloon.gif WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 03:41, Apr 29
It's "maff". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:21, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
Maffs is hard. Let me try. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us.png CUN20:00, 29 Apr
Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:44, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 20:55, Apr 29
Um... --MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:57, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 23:01, 29 April 2009 (UTC)
Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 15:25, 30 April 2009 (UTC)