Babel:Ch

Welcome to the Swiss Uncyclopedia, the neutral encyclopedia that anyone can edit but only if they have sufficient funds.       Sophia has opened 41,140 numbered bank accounts since opening in January 2005. Before editing, please read the War Profit Investment guidelines and neutrality manual.       Sex | War | Bank Vault Technology | Reservists | Female Emancipation | 4 Offical Languages Most Wealthy | Numerical Index | Not Money, Choclate or Cucckoo Clocks...

Respect my Neutralitah!

I'm Rich Bitch!

• Bienvenidos a la versión suiza de la desciclopedia, la enciclopedia neutral que cualquiera puede editar, siempre que disponga de suficientes fondos. Sophia ha abierto 41,140 cuentas de banco desde el mes de enero de 2005. Antes de editar nada, leas guías de beneficios de la Declaración de Guerra y manual de la neutralidad.

• Bienvenue à l'Uncyclopédia suisse, l'encyclopédie tout-à-fait neutre et fait complètement de fromage que n'importe qui peut redacter s'ils ont des fonds suffisants. Sophia a établi 41,140 comptes bancaires numérotés en suisse depuis l'ouverture en janvier 2005. Avant l'édition, lisez SVP les directives d'investissement, de bénéfice de guerre et le manuel de neutralité!

• Willkommen in der Schweizer Uncyclopedia, die neutrale Enzyklopädie, die, gänzlich frei von Käse, dafür sorgt, dass jeder veröffentlichen kann, der ausreichende Finanzen besitzt. Sophia hat seit der Öffnung im Januar 2005 ganze 41,140 Nummernkonten eröffnet. Vor der Ausgabe lesen Sie auf jeden Fall die Richtlinien der Investition von Kriegsgewinn und das Neutralitätshandbuch!

• Benvenuto al Uncyclopedia svizzero, l'enciclopedia neutra che chiunque può pubblicare ma soltanto se hanno fondi monetari suffient. Sophia ha aperto 41,140 clienti numerati della banca dall'apertura nel mese di gennaio del 2005. Prima della pubblicazione, legga prego la guida di riferimento di investimento di profitto di guerra ed il manuale di neutralità.

God (born God Cohen in 4004 BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world. Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH. Due to YHVH being an unpronounceable set of consonants, he is most often referred to as "The Artist Formerly Known as God," "TAFKAG," or simply "The Artist." Throughout his career he has embraced many styles of music and is cited as an influence by a wide array of current artists. (Full article...) Recently featured: HowTo:Commit Tax Fraud by Giving Away Your Chocolate Factory Antipasta The Finals Fuck Around and Find Out Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote (even Women!) for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia edit Selected anniversaries December 30: Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day 4004 BC - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread. 4 BC - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year! Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" was inaugurated. 1037 - King Arthur loses the holy grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers, crusades ensue. 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K bug, but put it off until December 31. 2002 - Saddam Hussein realises he forgot to send George Bush a Christmas card. 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parady of wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year. 2005 - Forget it! If it ain't done, wait 'til next year. 2006 - Saddam Hussein executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again. 2012 - The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG! Archived Anniversaries	edit Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit. Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas. Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday (Pictured) Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Bills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' backup's ACL Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually • 2025 • Stranger Things More Things to Avoid Getting Involved With edit Obviously you didn't know... From Uncyclopedia's Heads of States: ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? If you care about the rest of the world...
edit Recent opened accounts Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More News which does not Concern Us Most wanted bankers | Fix Accounting Mistakes | Make a Deposit | Lost Nazi Gold| Educate the World... Complete list of Uncyclopedias · Multilingual coordination · Start an Uncyclopedia in another language
Banker of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

For neutrality related chat, see the uncyclopedia chat room.

Protected by a Half Million Man Army, and their knives.