Babel:Ch

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Fuck Around and Find Out, often abbreviated to FAFO, is a philosophy often used by parents, teachers and scholars worldwide to explain why a person may suddenly find out they have a boot solidly lodged 14 inches into their rectum. It is mainly used on children whose sense of entitlement and petulance has reached a breaking point and their parents feel that talking won't work and grounding will make fuck all of a difference. The kid fucked around, the kid then found out. They didn't quite realize they were finding out right away because before awareness of said boot up their ass sent in, their head was being whacked so hard by rolled up newspaper their brain shifted and the boot in anus processed 0.5 seconds later. Eventually they all find out, even if it is delayed by a minor concussion. (Full article...)

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Selected anniversaries

This is so cliché

December 14: World Cliché Day

  • Long Long Ago - Some French guy misplaced his patent for creating the English language.
  • 1735 - Pie was discovered
  • 1911 - Welsh explorer Roald Dahl and his team become the first people to reach the Giant Peach.
  • 1929 - Hitler realizes he has very little time to finish his Christmas shopping, and subsequently freaks out while in line at Wal-Mart. Chaos ensues.
  • 1991 - Scientists first start working on Packaged Bread Without Crust™. For the next 10 years they will go to countless parties with other scientists and feel like they are working to find the cure for cancer.
  • 1992 - It was discovered that Bart Simpson ate my shorts.
  • 2000 - George W. Bush receives his first gay blowjob. In return for the favor, George W. Bush and his government maintain a very friendly line towards homosexuals.
  • 2001 - 10 years in the making, Packaged Bread Without Crust™ is finally introduced as a prototype to the Bimbo company.
  • 2004 The Kitten army begins to prepare for their mass masturbation strike for 25 December during the Human vs. Kitten War. Strike kills 250,000+ humans.
  • 2004 Post it notes claimed another victim in Paris. Rioting ensues. The PostIt-note war began.
  • Today - The first day of the rest of your life.
  • Tomorrow - Another day.
  • The Day After Tomorrow - It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)
  • 2101 War was beginning...


Archived Anniversaries

Things happening in the rest of the world, which didn't make us a profit.


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Take that, Betty White!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Non-Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Donna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.Sheen EstevezChet UbetchaDoug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCardDick van Dyke, eventually


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Banker of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners



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