World Pimping Convention
The World Pimping Convention is a convention located in the center of Amsterdam. Originating in Macedonia during the industrial revolution, it's a convention where pimps of all nationalities can meet and unite; to the public this is known as just another convention but to pimps, this is known as the holy goblet, the legend of legends, the convention you would just die to go for.
Attendance[edit | edit source]
Attendance usually ranges within 750,000 pimps at any given time; these pimps come in all kind of varieties from the American pimp who thinks a purple suit is fly to the Japanese pimps who wear all black to the British Pimps who dress in heavily frilly attire. Due to the high cost of $2,500 per ticket, it is usually an accepted fact that these pimps are the best of the best and that ensures that the convention will give you the best pimping experience possible compared to local, often lower grade pimping conventions which consist of posers and lowballers.
The high standards of the convention often bestow upon the pimp attending the convention; compelling them to dress the best they can do. Dressing in lesser clothing or wearing non-pimp clothing is allowed but is definitely throwned upon to the point where the pimp in lesser clothing is mocked, roughed up upon and given stares of disapproval.
Pimps are allowed to bring their Hos but those bringing them will be pressured to live up to the high standards of said convention, often forcing them to respect their pimps and hustle like they've never hustle before or else face a brash beating by said pimp. The convention doesn't allow attendees under 18, unless they're a pimp prodigy or more rarely, an unexpected surprise.
Activities[edit | edit source]
Members of the convention often converse with other pimps in order to enhance their trade; while they may know all about pimping, there's still room to further the craft and that furthering allows pimps to provide a higher quality experience than they would without. In some cases, even long-lasting friendships can be made through the convention, such as the one between Daddy Mack Sirloin and Sir Kingly Burton, a relationship which has lead to much pleasure and much productivity. (such as the exchange of Hos)
Pimps also converse in their own version of the United Nations aptly called "Pimp Nations", these pimps deal with issues such as the rate per ho and the resolution of disputes between pimps. The P.N. has prevented many deadly conflicts and has defined the territory of where certain pimps do their pimping; one such resolution process had to do with the Oakland pimps and the Japan pimps, they were mindlessly shooting each other over the quality of their Hos and the territorial dominance of said ho's when it comes to pimping. The P.N. intervened by secretly sabotaging the two and the two shook hands in piece, thus preventing pimping from degrading into mindless shooting.
A musical guest is also provided for the pimps entertainment and the musician in general is generally associated with weed and pimping; they're usually held in the biggest hall of all and has featured such luminaries as Snoop Dogg, Sean Paul and Damian Marley. These concerts often push the line of what's acceptable, with Snoop Dogg venting the whole room with the highest quality weed possible in one of his concerts and Damian Marley often performing high off his kite in another; students and some republicans often use these concerts to come up with compelling arguments against the culture as it is and the probable things they need to do to prevent this from ever happening.
Ho Activities[edit | edit source]
Hos of pimps can usually chat with other Hos regarding their techniques; including how to get as much money from a man as possible to looking as sexy as possible to lure and trap a man. Hos can also attend speeches designed to help motivate the Ho and to make her understand your position as a pimp.
Additionally, Hos can sign up for the week long "Holympics" where Hos are pushed to their physical limits in order to find a champion. The games include "Most Beautiful Ho" which is essentially a beauty contest to find out who's Ho's got the best breast, "Ho Running" which is running away from a guy dressed as a police officer in the shortest amount of time and "Ho Fighting" which is Hos getting at each other, "Ho fighting" is often considered to be the pinnacle event at the Holympics.
Several famous people have acted as judges at the Holympics, one of them being John Madden who covered the entire week for Fox Sports; his witty remarks and often cheesy vocal inflictions made the Holympics better as people were able to get a laugh at his routine despite him disowning his coverage as "confusing it for the Super Bowl". Actor Nicholas Cage, who's penchant for pimping was well known, also served as Judge and his words were as harsh as they were inflicting; during the 5th Olympiad, he once made a Ho cry because she wasn't grabbing enough skin which resulted in a fight between him and the Ho and Nicholas Cage being dragged out for improper behavior.
Media perception[edit | edit source]
Media perception of the World Pimping Convention is often negative, mainly due to the fact that pimping often mistreats woman and degrades them to the lowest level possible. Many networks like CBS and NBC treat it like an undercover operation, with them under disguise as a master pimp who's skills cannot mess with and they often question pimps about their worth of woman and why they're corrupting society. Because of this perception, only a small number of media personnel are allowed to cover the convention, with the personnel being pimps themselves; these personnel showcase the positive side of the event, something which the others don't want to do and their footage often ends up available on DVD's under the title "The Best of the World Pimping Convention" which are sold in the adult section of video stores due to their often explicit content.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
Despite it's legendary status, the convention has experienced some controversy. One such event happened in 2006 when the pimp Mr. Slippy was trying to demonstrate to other pimps how to treat a Ho; during a slapping of the Ho, her head spun around, twisting her neck and killing her. This incident was portrayed in the media to be an example of the dangers of pimping. Mr. Slippy had tried to defend himself, saying it was just an accident and that actual pimping is not like that at all but the media and the police did not buy his argument and he was subsequently executed following a mock trial.
Another came in 2007 when a rule was instituted that limited African Americans to a total of 30% of the audience. They said "it was necessary to enhance the culture of pimps" but the African Americans protested the new rule, saying it was detrimental to the world of pimping as a whole. Pimps from all over the country called for the African Americans to picket the entrance and show that they remained strong. While the convention in 2008 featured more White and Asian pimps than ever before, attendance dropped from 750,000 to only a mere 150,000, leading to a major loss of profit; in addition, 50 Cent canceled his performance wanting to show love for his "homies". After much protesting, the rule was dropped in 2009 leading to a record 1.2 million pimps attending the convention, the highest to date.