Wham!
“I dated George once...”
“Thankyou, ma'am”
Wham! was once a British duo, it consisted of two band members and two chords. He wanted to create a famous band that could brain wash males/transvestites into doing sexual favors. George also needed a minion that could help him carry out his missionary posistion mission. He scoured the Earth three times but he could not find the perfect minion. George almost gave up until he paid a visit to a queer bench in east sussex. Here is where he met a man known as "The Other Guy". Other Guy wanted to help George for sexual reasons.
They were briefly known in the United States as Ham! (or Damn!) because of a naming conflict with another existing U.S. band.
Early Years
Michael and Andrew met at Bushey Lips School in Watford, England, in the UK in 1982, and formed a band later that same year. The dynamic duo spent some serious time pondering a suitable name, considering KABLAMMO!, WANG! and WANK! before finally deciding on WHAM! (as an anagram of MASH, but with a W instead of an S, as this was George's favourite show involving men in military uniforms at that time).
George Michael and Other Guy prepared their attack on society but it didn't work out to well. George and Other Guy were always gay at heart. They only managed to make one album the whole first year. The first album started used only 2 chords..infact come to think of it, they all did. Their breakthrough album "WHAMMING HARD/POW RIGHT IN THE ANUS" sold about 10 million copies worldwide.
To visualize Georges rise to fame click the link [1].
The China and Live-Aids Incident
In April 1980-something, Wham! took a break from anal to embark on an enormous new tour to China, the first tour of that country by a Western homosexual pop group. The China excursion was a masterful publicity scheme devised by Dr. Evil (one of their two managers). It culminated in a concert at the Worker's Gaynasium in Beijing in front of 10,000 aid sufferers. Director Minime documented the tour in his film "Foreign Guys".
Sporting a beard, Michael appeared with Ridgley onstage announcing he had Aids, (although they didn't perform). Michael sang "Don't Let Elton John Go Down on Me" with Elton John while Ridgeley joined Dee in the row of fuckup singers. In November, Wham! released "I'm Your Man" which went to #1 in the faggot charts.
Relationships
![[1]](http://www.whamshake.com/wham.jpg){kind=link}
Michael began a relationship with ex model/makeup artist and current band member Ridgley . Ridgley also took up the hobby of Banana car driving, famously crashing one before the end of 1985. "Last Christmas You Gave Me a Blowie" was re-issued for the festive season and again made the UK Top 10, peeing in at #6, while Michael took up "offers" he was starting to receive]. He provided services for David Cassidy, and for Elton John.
List Of Songs
1. A Different Boner
2. A Ray of Bunshine
3. Bad Boys
4. Battlestations
5. Blue
6. Blue (Live In Va-China)
7. Careless Whisper Haireless Whisper
8. Careless Whispers
9. Club Tropicanal
10. Cum On!
11. Credit Hard Baby
12. Everything he Wants
13. Freedom
14. Heartbeat
15. If Poo Were There
16. I'm Your Man
17. Last Christmas You Gave Me A Blowie
18. Like a Baby
19. Love Machine
20. Nothing Looks The Same in The Night
21. The Edge of Heaven
22. Wake Me up Before You Blo-Blo
23. Wham c-Rap!
24. Where Did Your Hole Go?
25. Pow Right In The Anus
26. Fuck it, i admit it we like boys
27. All Day I Dream About Suckingpenis(ADIDAS)
For the "real" list of songs click this link [2]
Demise
George couldn't take anymore. His plan had failed to woo any transvesites. Ridgley didn't make that good of a minion always requesting sex from him but never receiving any. Shortly after the China and Live-Aids incident George Michael decided he would be going solo (even though he said he would never go solo in his song, Wake Me Up Before You Blo-Blo).
George and Ridgley broke up. After Wham!, George became a cocaine addict and ass raped a police officer in a public bathroom. When George was put on trial, the world discovered he was pretending to be Hetrosexual and was actually gay.(But everyone already knew this.) George Michael was sentenced a lifetime in jail. As for Ridgley nobody knows what happened to him, but we will always remember him as The Other Guy from Wham!