User talk:Rforbes

Welcome!

Hiya, Rforbes, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) (zomg) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join.

Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own slappy finger. I'm not a bot. I exist. Now, for some "personal", "non-official" advice:

• You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not really funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon cliché. Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just please don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
• Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
• Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the
  pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
• Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page Flappy woo-ha, create User:Rforbes/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed.
• Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
• There are a lot of links I just put on your page. This is the most important one. HTBFANJS is important, but the mybrute link is better.
• You can steal templates and welcome people, but don't forget to but the subst: inside the template. Like {{subst:Welcome}}. A lot better, it includes these fun linkies.
• And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually.

And here's your welcome vid!: Don't forget Sailor Jupiter...
Again, welcome!  —Flutter Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 15:34, 23 July 2009

Help

Hi, I think I'm getting the hang of this, I've added to some articles, I hope they are funny. I'm not too sure about the user talk pages. I've just found the discussion tabs on the articles but how do you get to users' talk pages including yours to ask stuff?

Specifically I wanted to ask how do we know if something has been deleted by an admin and therefore should not be put back as opposed to an ordinary user who just didn't like it.

Also, presumably malicious users could go around deleting lots of articles and I'm surprised the Muslims haven't caught on to this yet. How do we report people for malicious deletions?

Lastly, I'd like to add that this is a fantastic idea and I love it, no unreasonable censorship, just the opportunity to rip the piss out of others, out of ourselves, something we Brits are very good at. It occurred to me that some kind of casting approval/disapproval might be an idea. A bit like the '... likes this' on Facebook. Clearly some submissions are hilarious and others quite lame, it would be good to be able to 'score' other people's submissions and see what others think of mine. I suppose that is what the discussion tab is for.

OK, I lied, really lastly, some basic lessons in English would be useful for a lot of people. I'm not talking about US vs English English which is a constant source of sport but the ability to spell short words correctly, know the difference between your and you're and the common sense to read back what has just been written and check it reads ok before hitting 'save page' and letting everyone else know what an illiterate bad typist they are.

--Rforbes 20:23, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Right, I'll do my best to explain things to you.

1) To get to a User's talk page simply, visit their User Page via the link in their signature, or briefly create a link yourself if you are really having problems. Once at the User Page then click on the discussion tab at the top. If the tab is red then it means that the page has either not been created or has been huffed, simply type your message in the box on that page to create the talk page. To get to your own talk page you can click on the "My talk" link at the top right of the screen, between your user name and the preferences link.

2) If something has been completely deleted then an Admin has done it, ordinary users cannot completely delete articles, because, as you correctly say, malicious users would delete perfectly good articles. If your article goes missing completely then you should be able to check on what happened by checking the location where the article was previously. Most Admins will contact a user if they remove an article that they created, if you want to work on an article with no fear of it being deleted then simply ask an Admin to move it to your user space or do it yourself. You would do this by going to your user page and putting a / after the URL and then simply typing in the name of the new page and pressing enter.

If your article has been blanked or vandalised by another User or an IP, then you can revert their changes by going to the history tab, and following the instructions (it's pretty self explanatory). If you want to report a User or an IP for vandalism or just generally wasting everybody's time, then head on over to Ban Patrol and report them by following the instructions, be sure to follow these instructions carefully and to be considerate at all times, or you may end up banned yourself.

3) As far as your suggestions for improvement go, you would be best directing them to the admins here. We tend to assess the quality of articles over at PEE Review, where you can do a review of someone else's article if the mood takes you, feel free to nominate someone else's article if you think it could do with some hints, but be sure to ask the original author first. If you want to rank a particular submission then you can either revert it to show your displeasure or, make a comment on the talk page.

My own particular comments on spelling are that you should try to correct spelling errors when you can. As a general rule your expectations here should be very low and you should anticipate mistakes. If you wish to join the fight against poor spelling and grammar then feel free to sign up to The Uncyclopedia Proofreading service. Otherwise you just have to deal with it, people spell badly all the time, I was almost arrested once for correcting graffiti in a city centre.

Any questions arising from the help given here can be directed at User talk:ChiefjusticeDS or at one of these guys on their talk page. Hope this information is of some use. Good luck editing Uncyclopedia. --ChiefjusticeDS 21:14, 17 August 2009 (UTC)