User talk:Pashion

Welcome!

Hello, Pashion, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! --—Braydie 17:54, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

Greeting, User:Pashion, and welcome to the outer reaches of the inner cabal which does not exist, ie. UnNews. Thanks for your contribution, and making it funny. If there's anything I can help you with, please let me know. I probably will tell you to leave off, but sometimes in life, you must take a chance. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:41, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

Jesus bought the Holy Ass, depicted here as a raptor, from zim in 1066 AD.

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC. Cheers!

xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:00, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Nooooooooo

Don't delete it. Social commentary, even via black humour, that forces us to question our emotive responses to things is always good. Very often it has the opposite effect that you'd expect on people. I'd keep it, its better than a lot of comments that have been made. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I'd second that. Additionally, DAMN nice work on the Cutty Sark. That's first-rate material you're posting to UnNews. Although I think that the FSM sorta feels out of place as you have it. I understand the connection, but the elegance isn't quite there. Still, aside from that one bit of nit-picking, damn fine work. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 06/14 11:11

Amen. The best satire should have teeth like this article's. --Zinc Avenger 22:24, 14 June 2007 (UTC)

your crappy story

You may have notice I've moved your UnNews article attempt to User:Pashion/BRITISH POLICE TEAM UP WITH MYSPACE.COM FOR NEW PROFILING DATABASE, for too many reasons to list. What's with the all caps in the title? Have you read the "Welcome to UnNews" blurb on your talk page? Stop being such a noob! Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 13:21, 21 June 2007 (UTC)
to be fair, i pasted the title from Word and so didn't realise in time that the caps were there and immediately requested an admin change it as soon as i noticed. I know how ugly caps titles look, but i didn't see any other 'noob-like' stuff on there and i think getting rid of it was a bit over the top so a bit of constructive feedback would be helpful
cheers!

I've moved it to UnNews:British_Police_team_up_with_MySpace.com_for_new_Profiling_Database, as I think its a great play on the good ol' British Bobbie dealing with new technologies. Perhaps its funnier for us Brits though? :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)