User talk:Mr. Kevin Bell
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Mr. Kevin Bell, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
- How to be funny and not just stupid
If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Mr. Kevin Bell/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! --THINKER 04:46, 6 July 2007 (UTC)
hmm.[edit source]
I like talking to myself.
You snitty little bastard![edit source]
Last week, I think, I got a note from some noob who felt slighted at not having been given my UnNews welcome within what he considered timely. Now this crap. I've deleted it as worthless, instead of putting it in your user space for improvement, because clearly, it's nothing more than a platform for rants and whining. Why don't you try settling in a bit, test the waters, and stop thinking anything here has anything to do with your or anyone else personally?
So, here's your Welcome to UnNews, done by me, when I have the time, for no charge at all. You're getting what you paid for. Let me call your attention to one of my favorite of Uncyclopedia's ignorable policies: don't be a dick! Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:59, 7 July 2007 (UTC)
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On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
Welcome to UnNews, Mr. Kevin Bell, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:59, 7 July 2007 (UTC)