User talk:Cambam2
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Cambam2, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
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If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! -- Sir Mhaille 
(talk to me)
Regarding UnNews:Brown eyes give you cancer[edit source]
Good day Cambam2. While we at Uncyclopedia do appreciate your interest in our project, there are certain little basic rules we have when crating an article.
It's important to note that short articles, such as the one you crated, are rarely ever expanded. As such, when and if you decide to contribute further, please make your articles a bit longer.
- A good-sized "UnNews" article is about 350 - 700 words.
- A good-sized "UnBooks", "How to" or just plain article should be 900 - 2500 words.
These are only estimates for you to have a standard to go by. I made them up, and I'm not even a bloody admin. And do remember it took a lot for me not to make a penis size joke in this post. --
15:26, 4 May 2007 (UTC)
- I second what this atomic person thinks. I am the UnNews god-on-call, and I say it sucks... so I'm huffing it. Do not despair, as below I provide the means to your salivation. Cheers!
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:00, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
 |
On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
Welcome to UnNews, Cambam2, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 23:00, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
Spamming[edit source]
Stop adding "Simon Ray" to articles please. 
Alksub - VFH CM WA RV {talk} 07:21, 30 May 2007 (UTC)