User talk:A very rare user

Welcome!

Hello, A very rare user, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there and there is a window over here if you don't fancy walking down the stairs. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Help Pages
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

Chief welcomes you!

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but most people enjoy writing something while they are here. If you are critical and think the world would be infinitely better if everyone listened to you, then you should become a teacher, but check out Pee Review while they make sure you aren't a sex offender.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.

OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.

Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.

• Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by administrators.
• If you want to create an article, and you wanted to call it Bleurgh, to create it in your user space you would just make the address bar look like this: www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/User:(Your user-name here)/Bleurgh. Please don't create it on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
• Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. Honestly, it works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
• Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.

Again, welcome!  ChiefjusticeDS 21:58, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

VFD

I see you've nommed a lot of articles to be deleted. That's fine, but please keep in mind that the VFD limit is 20 articles at a time. You've increased it to 22 articles, which may get you blocked for a little while. —Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦ 23:58, 25 February 2010 (UTC)

While I respect Pelargonium, I disagree. I wouldn't recommend nomming anything for that until you've been active here for quite a while. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:01, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

About VFD

First, welcome to Uncyclopedia.

Second, until you've been here for a while and been very active, I would strongly recommend not nomming articles for VFD, or putting other such tags on articles. I've been active here for a while and gotten an award or two, and I'm very hesitant about doing that.

Third, you can't nom an article that's in user space for VFD.

Fourth, if you have any questions, feel free to post a note on my talk page.

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:59, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Disregard that nonsense about being here for a while before nomming things on VFD. If you see an article that sucks, feel free to nom it. The worst thing that can happen is the vote won't go the way you think it should. The thing about articles in user space is true though, as well as not increasing the count above twenty. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:04, 26 Feb

I respectfully disagree. I've seen more than one noob run into problems because of things like that. As you so clearly pointed out, this user has already run into a problem that could lead to being blocked because the user hasn't had time to learn how things work here yet. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:07, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

Whether or not you agree is a moot point. There is no minimum membership time required to nom pages on VFD. He's making good faith noms and he's free to continue to do so. Also, the "problem" you mention is between him and the admins. It's happened before and the wiki didn't implode. He may get banned, he may (more likely) get a warning. Either way, it's nobody's business except the user involved and the admins. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:17, 26 Feb

I disrespectfully disagree times two. You're both fuckers and my advice is the best! There can be no other!! —Paizuri MUN ♦ Talkpage ♦ My Contributions ♦ 00:11, 26 February 2010 (UTC)

I disrespectfully agree. You're all correct and you can kiss my ass. Additionally, if you are keen to put stuff on VFD search for the real worst, multiple HTBFANJS abusers and similar articles. If VFD is full VOTE. Nominations are important but nothing moves if everyone nominates and nobody votes. If you find bad articles and there's not room on the VFD queue put a "watch" on them or copy them to a userspace hitlist. --Count of Monkey Crisco 00:33, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

Can we really kiss your ass? Where do you live? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:19, February 26, 2010 (UTC)