User:Xander/UnBooks:The Go-Around Plush

Contrary to popular belief, Alex was not the sole owner of the Boris plush. Instead, he was passed around to random people, taking up their personalities as they held him. This is my story, which I give to you, The Go-Around Plush. He is sent on a mission to go around with various celebrities and hang out with them. Eventually, he can change them in some major way. Enjoy.

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett was the first owner of the plush since he was made. He accompanied her to a trip to the hospital where a man was diagnosed with Dengue fever. His wish was to see Scarlett, he did. When he saw her with the plush, he had a very big smile. It was certain that the man would get a glimpse of the two before he died. The wish was satisfied, the plush moves on.

David Hasselhoff

Boris moved on, with his curiousity growing as he ponders upon his next owner. Mr. Hasselhoff noticed him and took him to his home. That night, he put Boris next to him in his fancy bed so he can see what dreams he would have. Indeed, he had some very interesting dreams with his plush companion.

“David! David! You want to see my breakfast machine?”

~ Boris on the next morning

The Breakfast Machine

He accepted the offer. Boris pushed a ball down a track, activating a pulley mechanism which moved another ball to another track. It landed on a switch, activating a crane that took 4 eggs and dropped them into a Tupperware. Here's the summary (because I didn't feel like adding more detail): Boris constructed a Rube Goldberg device which can cook a full English breakfast. David invited Kevin Spacey to eat the breakfast. He stayed with the Hoff for a fortnight.

Quentin Tarantino

Unlike most other encounters, the meeting of man and plush was voluntary. Quentin looked to Boris for new ideas for his latest films. The fact that a famous film director is relying on a plush toy for inspiration regarding his future projects may seem crazy. Then again, this is Uncyclopedia, where everything is possible. A week after that, the Reservoir Dogs cast reunion was held.

The Reunion

Ah, there was a lot of talking and rejoicing! Interviews and cocktails about! I don't know what the hell I am writing. To clarify, this has been the first time in 22 years since the likes of Harvey Keitel and John Travolta have seen each other.

Lorne Michaels

“Wow! This is just what this show needs! Thank you very much!”

~ Lorne Micheals on Boris entering SNL

Desperate for people to care about Saturday Night Live, he looked at Boris for hope that it will be as popular as it was back then. He was very crazy at the time, but it worked. He made his debut on national television, bringing the essence of Terraria to a wider audience. He may have been in one sketch, but he stayed on for three more episodes. After that, he pushed Lorne to get the FCC to "leave the TV programs alone and let them flourish. We TV companies deserve to make the best of our freedom of expression. That's what this plush toy taught me."

Pamela Anderson

Why not? When Pamela met Boris, she decided to bring him to the upcoming PETA rally. To some, it was a haven for imminent masturbation. However, he shouted: "STOP!! This isn't the way to stop people from eating meat! Why don't you consider a radically different plan to present and convince people to join your cause? You should also stop killing the animals you save! That's not what PETA is about! No wonder why nobody bothers taking you seriously! Adhere to my advice and your organization shall gain a better reputation." Everyone at the rally was convinced and Pamela got the head of the organization to change. PETA was infamous nevermore!

Conclusion

Boris is a nice person. He is able to inspire his holders with his persuasive abilities. As a result, he is able to bring change upon sucky things and make them good. He truly is Terraria's greatest hero.