User:Tymrym/brudnopis

A woman comes to a doctor (pl. Przychodzi baba do lekarza) is a Polish series of jokes about old lady who bothers and irritates doctors. Here we have some of them translated.

A woman comes to a doctor...[edit | edit source]

...and there's no doctor.
...and the doctor went to Ireland.
...and the doctor is also a woman.
...with the frog on her head. Doctor asks: „What's the matter?”. Frog replies: „Something has sticked to my ass!”
...and gets seizures. Doctor says: „Disco is on floor above”.
...and says: „I feel very sick!”. Doctor examines her and tells her that she will die in three seconds. Three seconds pass, woman dies, and doctor shouts: „April Fools Day!”.
...and says, that she sees dwarfs. „They are everywhere! I have to shed them all time!”. Doctor replies frightened: „But not on my desk, please!”.
...and he asks: „How old are you?”. „Sixty two, doctor”. „Enough!”
...and doctor says „Don't eat anything to the end of your life”. She tells him that it is impossible, and the reply is „Those few minutes you can somehow resist”.
...with a knife in her ear. Doctor asks: „What happened?”. She says: „Nothing, I just listen to metal”.
...with a big hump on her back. Doctor says: „Why are you creeping?”.
...and asks: „My disease has very funny name, but I just can't recall it... Frog, fish, crab?”. „Cancer”.
...and cries „Doctor, nobody pays any attention to me!”. „Next, please”.
...and he tells her to eat lots of fruit, preferably without peeling. Then, he asks about her favourite fruit. Woman says: „Bananas, oranges, watermelons and coconuts”.
...and says that after hormonal treatment she has got hair everywhere on her body. „Where exactly the most?” asks doctor. „On testicles”.
...and complains that all her friends finds her as crazy, because she likes pizza. „It's not anything wrong, I also like pizza” says doctor. „So visit me, I have in my house two tonnes of it!”.
...with her daughter, and says: „Stand straight, in order to doctor see you are crooked”.
...and says that nobody takes her serious.
Administrator: Doctor blocked user: Old Lady. Reason: tomfoolery.
...with convergent strabismus. Doctor: „Why are you so concentrated?”.
...with suspender on her head. „What happened?”. Woman replies: „Always on my mind”.
...and tells that she urinates with four trickles of urine, then asks: „Is it dangerous?”. Doctor replies: „No, it's just a slit button”.
...with a bandage on her ankle. „Doctor, I broke my wrist!”. „So, why the bandage is on your ankle?”. „Rats, it slipped again”.
...and after examination doctor tells her to take mud baths. „Will it treat me?” she asks. „No, but you will get used to the ground”.
...with two bags of potatoes. „For WHAT you carry them to my office?”. „Two are not enough?”.
...and complains that when she lowers, her spine teats. „Don't lower. Next please!”.

User:Tymrym/brudnopis

A woman comes to a doctor...[edit | edit source]

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