User:TomFRandom/Little Weiners
“WEINER!!!!!!!!!!!”
“WEINER!!!!!!!!!!!”
“WEINER!!!!!!!!!!!”
A little weiner is the absolute terminology for an annoying child. These creatures can be sighted on merry-go-rounds, buying ice-cream or playing jump-rope with Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson.
It is also worth noting that in the event of encountering several of these weiners at once, they are referred to as a "gaggle o' weiners".
The Appropriate Course Of Action[edit | edit source]
When one catches a glimpse of a little weiner, or to give it it's latin name littlus weinius, it is appropriate and entirely necessary to point, clasp your cupped hand to your mouth and shout "Weiner". If more than one weiner is spotted, you may shout 'weiners' instead, as pointing at each one in turn is both time consuming and not as funny.
Identification[edit | edit source]
Identifying a little weiner is an extremely easy task.
When identifying a little weiner you must ask yourself 2 questions
- 1. Is he little?
- 2. Does he look like a weiner?
If the answer to both questions is a resounding Yes, then you have found yourself a little weiner. Feel free to take the appropriate course of action, as detailed earlier in this article.
If the answer to both questions is a resounding OH GOD YES! Then you're probably getting way too into this whole little weiners business...
Useful Characteristics[edit | edit source]
Not every young person is a weiner, and not everybody is an expert at telling the difference. If you have difficulty, this is a list of frequent characteristics of a weiner
- Short
- Young
- Freckles
- Glasses
- Bigger Glasses
- Slightly too-short trousers
- Recently cleaned shoes
- Pudding Bowl Haircuts
Weiners & the Internet[edit | edit source]
Weiners aren't only just found in the streets or PeeWee Herman's outhouse, you can find them lurking amidst the internets dark, scary places. Whether on Message Boards or Xbox Live, the weiners can strike - sometimes in numbers greater than 3. You may notice that this is the opposite of love, and this isn't just coincidence. Death Eaters have sucked the souls of these particular little weiners. Little Weiners have a language that is used specifically when they use the internet, and that is called "Weinerishlol". According to Section 7, Paragraph C of the Weinerishlol handbook, it clearly states that all little weiners should end sentences with the phrase(s); lol, rofl, lmao, roflcopter, lollylops and/or Swiper No Swiping.
Weiner Weaknesses[edit | edit source]
There is are only three things in the world that weiners are afraid of
The first is a trip to the dentist
The second is a haircut
And the third is the most deadly of all. 'Anti Weiner ROFLRockets' The official defination for an 'Anti Weiner ROFLRocket' is
- A word or phrase so damning to a little weiner, that upon hearing this phrase, he (or she) will simply asplode
Of course these phrases bear no resemblence to an actual rocket, but Websters thought it would be rly kool to call them that.
Here are a few examples of Anti-Weiner ROFLRockets :-
- Do I smell suncream? (in reference to the amount of sunblock required to stop a ginger weiner burning up)
- Lunch money?
- Yeah, I saw that episode, I get it.
- Isn't It Your Bedtime?
- What are you doing? SHUT UP
- NO JOHNNY
- Off to Kamp Krusty for you
The Weiner's Escape Route[edit | edit source]
There are many, many ways to rightfully deter little weiners. However, there are also ways in which a weiner can 'fight' back. And by fight, they mean slowly curl into a ball and sob quietly for about 13 minutes. Despite their escape being pitiful and ultimately weinery
(which is expected), it still exists. That escape route is called the 'call for momma' button. A button so effective that you will shit brix. 'Calling For Momma' entails said weiner rapidly tapping the large 'call for momma' button located in the far right region of his or her bunbag. Upon pressing, nothing happens and a small electric charge is sent racing up the spines of the weiners. After 6 more shocks, the button will finally work and allow for the weiners to get away scott free. Momma comes-a-runnin' and proceeds with the scalding of not-aforementioned weiner baiter.
Notable Examples[edit | edit source]
One such famous example of weinery is at the Olympic Games in Beijing, 2008. Great Britain entered a diver named Tom Daley, a 14 year old little weiner. This led to over 2 bajillion people shouting 'little weiner' in simultaneous disbelief. At least 3 people are known to have posted angry e-mails to broadcasters, with the complaint "Who let this little weiner on the diving board?".
Another example of weiners is the television show 'The Suite Life of Zack and Cody'. A show which not only prides itself on weiners and their weinerisms, but also features dual pudding haircuts. 'Zack and Cody', better known to their parents as Money & Money Sprouse, have always sported terrible hairstyles. Theorists have supposed that no matter what happens in later life, the 2 will always be remembered for their weinerdom. Philosophers have no thoughts on the subject to be quite honest.