User:Tfrogger27/Space Shuttle Challenger

“Why are the Americans so bad at Badminton? Only a Welshman could lose more shuttles than they have!”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Space Shuttle

General Overview

931 slaves died while building the Challenger.

The Challenger was a large paper airplane developed by NASA during a particularly boring history class.

Spaceship/Paper Airplane Controversy

In NASA v. Board of Education (1954), the U.S. Supreme Court determined that a paper airplane and a spaceship are the same thing.

Tom Hanks Theory

Huston, we have a Tom Hanks problem.

NASA deny ever having a problem with the challenger's new multi-million dollar Tom Hanks survival system unit. Later, after the cause (a rubber seal) was discovered, NASA ordered all remaining rubber seals be clubbed to death.

NASA Guide to Building Your Own Spaceship

1. Take a rectangular piece of paper.
2. Fold it in half lengthwise.
3. Unfold the paper.
4. Take two of the corners from one end of the rectangle and fold them back toward the middle.
5. Fold the paper in back in half lengthwise.
6. Fold down either side to make wings.
7. Load with half a million gallons of rocket fuel and ignite.
8. Now tell your friends how awesome space is.

Challenger Crew

The Challenger crew. From left to right: Picard, Joe, Barbie, Phillips, Armstrong, Armstrong, McAuliffe

• Neil Armstrong, captain.
• Lance Armstrong, first mate.
• Stone Phillips, pilot.
• Astronaut Stephen Hawking, communications officer.
• Astronaut Barbie, teleporter operator and full-release massage therapist.
• Jean-Luc Picard, auxiliary captain.
• Christa McAuliffe, a teacher and the first civilian to ever fly in a large paper airplane.

Tragedy

On January 28, 1986, the Challenger exploded into a huge fireball just seconds after takeoff, instantly converting its 7 crew members into delicious chicken marsala. To bring them back to life, President Ronald Reagan was ordered by a mysterious shaman to strip naked, eat the remains of the crew, and wander out into the Black Forest where he would be forced to confront his darkest inner demons. It was later said by a resurrected Stone Phillips that Reagan performed this task "with gusto."

This incident was later recreated on an episode of Spongebob Squarepants.

Reagan's address to the nation on the night of the Challenger explosion:

My fellow Americans, raaaaaaaargh!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! MEEEEEE.... WAAAAAAAAANT.... BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless America.

Jokes

The Challenger explosion has become a popular topic for inappropriate jokes. Here are some examples:

A rabbi, a priest and a vicar heard about the Challenger tragedy and were all deeply saddened.

A man walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender asks, "May I help you?" The frog replies, "I still haven't gotten over how shaken I am by the Challenger explosion."

PERSON A: Knock, knock.

PERSON B: Who's there?

PERSON A: A national tragedy that shook our country's belief in science and destroyed the innocence of a generation.

PERSON B: A national tragedy that shook our country's belief in science and destroyed the innocence of a generation who?

PERSON A: The Challenger explosion!!!

(Alternate punchlines: The Atomic Bomb, Three Mile Island, The Columbia Explosion, The Tamagotchi Craze.)

It just goes to prove what man has known for some time. One can't rely on a little rubber seal!