User:TehGrammarNazi/UnNews:A Million Jillion Kabillion Pound Fish Caught
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UnNews:A Million Jillion Kabillion Pound Fish Caught
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22 November 2011
“That fish is quite large!”
“In Soviet Russia, Fish Exaggerates Size of YOU”
“My penis is bigger”
BROOKVILLE, Ohio -- 6 year old Albert Swinechuckler caught a fish yesterday afternoon which broke the world record for largest fish, weighing approximately one millon jillion kabillion pounds. Sources have told us that Swinechuckler was forced onto the fishing trip by his father, and he planned to catch a fish so big, it would shame his father into never taking him fishing again. Despite never actually catching a fish, Mr. Swinechuckler seemed to enjoy sitting lifelessly in an empty puddle for hours on end.
"So, yeah," reports Swinechuckler, "my dad hauls me out to a puddle in the woods every year and forces me to sit there on the lake and do absolutely nothing on the lake for a while. It's really quite horrid." According to sources, young Swinechuckler got out of the boat on the account that he deceived his father into thinking he had diarrhea, and went to a local convenience store.
The fish recently appeared on Good Morning America, and said, "Glub glub glug glub gluggle glug glup glurg", which translates to, "Yo estaba sentado alrededor de mirar algunas porno, cuando de repente, este gancho cae del cielo de mierda y mierda trys para levantarme el ánimo! Dios, si quería algo de sexo, todo lo que tenía que hacer era pedir. Oh, eso no se traduce muy bien."
