User:Simsilikesims/HowTo:Divide by Zero

This is the result of dividing by zero on a calculator.

Warning: May cause implosion of universe.

Imagine a pie. Good.

Oh, sweet, innocent pie. If only you knew what trouble you were going to cause.

Now imagine that the pie is cut in two. That's how to divide by two.

Congratulations! You can divide by two!
         _
        | \ 
        |  | 
 _______|  |
|____|      \_ ____
|_____|             \
|____|
|___|_____________/

Now imagine the pie is cut into slices a nothingth of an inch wide. They have no mass, area, or flavour. How many of these slices does it take to fill up the pie?

Forget about the pie. If you have imagined a nothingth of an inch, you have already divided something by zero! That wasn't so hard was it?

The Answer

You want me to tell you the answer? Not until you've finished your pie. Hurry up and finish your pie!

Uses

This technique is currently being researched by Osama Bin Laden in an attempt to create an Infinity Bomb, which he will use to blackmail the rest of the world... Which is, if you have actually read this article, a poor idea. Splitting the world into an infinite amount of nothings will do, by definition, nothing. But if you do succeed in doing this you are now God and you will be paid money.

So rest easy.

Division by Zero and the End of the Universe

Some have theorized that a successful division by zero would lead to the creation of a new universe, which would destroy/end/consume the present universe. It has been claimed that only the Windows calculator to arrive in the new Windows Vista would successfully be able to divide a number by zero, but was later announced in a 2006 press release by Microsoft that this feature was, among many others, dropped to speed things up. However, only six people know how to suck themself to divide by zero they are: Chuck Norris,Bill Nye, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Mike Portnoy, Technoviking.

The only person who can divide by zero without blowing up the planet.

Formula

Norwegian scientists Bjørkedal and Lunde recently discovered the matemathical formula of Dividing by Zero during a rather boring lesson of maths. It is as simple as it's... well, it's at least simple:

Pie/0=Ragnarök

Impossible for Dummies

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The two scientists are extremely aware that the theory that is dominatig the question of what's going to happen if you actually manage to divide by zero, is that the universe will implode, with various effects as mentioned above. The outcome of this new theory is pretty much the same. Except that the new one includes a war between Norse Monsters and other Spawn arising from the bowels of Hel in eternal plight of consumation by Flames, and between despotic Norse Gods vyeing for custody over a magical Harp belonging to Baldur (note in the Greek version, there is a famine causing Goddesses to pertain in a catfight whereby the victor would gain possession of the Golden Apple of Chaos and Despair. Talk about the popularity of organic fruit). In other words, a little more awesome.

See also

• 0 (number)
• How to End the Universe
• nullity
• Why?:Collapse Space-Time