User:Shabidoo/happymonkeycompetition/2015/Anton199 Scores and comments

Happy Monkey Competition 2015

Results and scores for Anton

Article: UnBooks:Jacomo's Belly Fluff Part 15

From Sarah[edit | edit source]

Creativity	Humour	Originality	Total
8/10	8/10	7/10	23/30

Postponing of the Apocalyps, hahaha. What did you expect, an in-depth summary and analysis and then giving it anyway was creative. At first I thought it (the analysis part) would've benefited from being slightly shorter, but upon second reading it needed to have everything you wrote in it, or the parallel with the character's own life wouldn't have worked the way it did. Part 15 though maybe wasn't entirely necessary in my opinion, i think the article could've done without. Oh, and I liked the line 'so, please don't be late for work'. Good job!

From GrammarFegelein[edit | edit source]

Creativity	Humour	Originality	Total
6/10	6/10	5/10	17/30

I like the concept of a person talking to his or her mother about a TV show which is somewhat creative but not very original. There are some funny lines such as "I don't ask why every day there is a different person in our house who I am supposed to call "Dad"." and "In layman terms this implies that I am not even going to try reapplying for any job, because if you love me for who I am, you'll love me broke and unemployed.". This review has been made by 08:28, 4 August 2015 (UTC).

From Shabidoo[edit | edit source]

Creativity	Humour	Originality	Total
9/10	7.5/10	8/10	24.5/30

Genius starting it off as an epistological narrative with the zinger (witten to mom) and about fluff (a great reference to the title).

Funny moments:

What I am only trying to convey here, Mom, is that if I have decided to watch all 15 episodes of a show entitled Jacomo's Belly Fluff, well, I probably have good reasons for it. (very lol).
For instance, I don't ask why every day there is a different person in our house who I am supposed to call "Dad". (i laughed out loud)
Subtle stuff.

instead of setting unrealistic goals for himself. In layman terms this implies that I am not even going to try reapplying for any job, because if you love me for who I am, you'll love me broke and unemployed.
Funny caption.

You sort of lost me on the first two paragraphs of "The story" section. As the article progresses, the narrative gets a little tougher to follow and the originality wanes a bit (it's a slight repetition of what came before) and the humour dies down.

Mentioning mom at the end was brilliant...made me laugh out loud. The use of the lint picture was genius. Overall I like the concept of mixing the rediculous title of a show, with a serious style metaphysical deconstruction with a broke guy living with mom. I even wonder if you are a broke unemployed guy with belly button lint living with mom. OVer all...spiffy nice groovy job. ShabiDOO 15:08, 3 August 2015 (UTC)