User:Scofield/Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

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[The scene fades to a dank room with a mirror and cassette tape. And that's about it.]

[The next scene shows a hospital room in the main character's drowsy First Person View Mode. Some rendition of "The Man Who Sold the World" is playing, but since it's not Nirvana's version, it sucks. A moderately attractive nurse adjusts something, allowing the main character a good view of her feminine chest. As the character's vision starts to become clear, he gains the ability to grunt! As he does so, another moderately attractive nurse runs to him, says some gibberish, then runs out.]

NURSE: V has come to.

[An arbitrary amount of time later, the main character wakes up to see a doctor.]

DOCTOR: Can you hear me? If can, you know, nod or something.

MAIN CHARACTER: *nods, or something*

DOCTOR: Hmm, I'm still not convinced. Could you try looking all the way up, please.

MAIN CHARACTER: *looks all the way up*

DOCTOR: *giggling* Hahaha! You looked so stupid just now! Ah, it never gets old! Anyway, so er, Jack, was it? Or Kiefer? Or Naked...something? Seriously, what's your name and date of birth?

MAIN CHARACTER: [Insert name and date of birth here]

DOCTOR: Ah, I see, Mr [Insert name here]. So, let's cut to the chase, and try not to panic here. You've been in a coma for quite some time. And the amount of time you've been out is, again, try not to panic, nine years.

MAIN CHARACTER: *PANIC* *PANIC* *PANIC*

DOCTOR: Goddamit!

[Another arbitrary amount of time later, the Main Character wakes up again.]

DOCTOR: Ah, so you're awake! Now, let's try getting you out of that bed!

[The doctor and nurse life the Main Character up until his back is straightened.]

DOCTOR: Alright. Looks like that massage therapy worked out after all! Mmm...massage therapy...uh, anyway, let me just discuss your prognosis. You see,