User:Pasmorade/Jesse Lee Peterson
This article might offend some minorities. Alas, as they are not the majority, we will follow the democratic tradition and vote regarding the contents. Until then, neither Uncyclopedia nor the original author of this article condone racism in any form. |
“It don't matter if you're black or white.”
– Michael Jackson on Jesse Lee Peterson
| |
---|---|
Born |
|
Occupation | Radio host, political commentator, minister |
Political party | Republican |
Other political affiliations | Democratic (formerly) |
Children | 1 miserable kid |
Jesse Lee Peterson is an American gay conservative talk show host, political commentator and Christian minister who, alongside blind author Clayton Bigsby and working class man Uncle Ruckus, are the only Black white supremacists in the United States. Arguably the most extreme example of the token black guy, Jesse truly believes that all Muslims are working for Al-Qaeda, victims of police brutality should shut the fuck up, and women should never have had the right to vote. All of these opinions have made him the subject of jokes by more centrist conservatives. Despite that, as the far-right only really matters in politics, he has a prestigious role in the Republican Party. He may not be aware about his race, as only an idiot would try to claim that one of the things he'd like to do if he was President would be to "...take all [the] black people back to the South and put them on the plantation."
According to reliable sources, all of Peterson's bigotry stems from his father early in his childhood. Born in 1949 at Comer Hill, Alabama, jesse Lee Peterson grew up on a plantation where his ancestors had been enslaved...and were still being enslaved. Additionally, his great-grandfather had been lynched by the Ku Klux Klan due to him trying to vote. As his mother wanted his dad to work, like many wannabe rappers, he went to get the milk and never came back. As a result, Peterson became dependent on the welfare system, claiming to be a drug addict to collect a sizable monthly check. Eventually, however, Peterson eventually ran into a friendly white man who converted him to the correct political viewpoint through his enlightened evangelical rhetoric. Peterson claims that the prayers of that white man made him understand that his anger was directed against his parents and that white people were not "responsible" for the problems Peterson had experienced in his life. Nowadays, he's a bigot. However, despite claiming that gay people are the spawn of Satan due to Leviticus, Peterson has had gay sex with at least two men and has attempted to have sex with several more.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Early career[edit | edit source]
Opinions[edit | edit source]
On LGBTQ+ people[edit | edit source]
As mentioned before, Peterson hates the gays so much. In fact, after ranting about black people, his obsession with saying that the LGBTQ will obliterate America makes up most of his time.