User:Mr-ex777/A pile of dog turd/15
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“Oscar Wilde will host the festival”
“In soviet russia, festival hosts you!”
The Uncyclopedia Music Festival is a project that is held and organized by uncycloversity and uncyclopedia. The lead host are Oscar Wilde, Captain Obvious, Rayman, Chuck Norris and your mom who serves as someone who counts votes for the festival. The festival is used to promote awareness of uncyclopedia and to rank songs in a rank from 50 not being the best, to one being the best.
Organization behind the Uncyclopedia Music Festival
Every April, 16th-19th in Paris, France Oscar Wilde, Rayman, Captain Obvious, Chuck Norris and Your Mom host the Annual uncyclopedia music festival. It is held inside a Paris hotel meeting room that is rented out. During the event people in the audience cast a vote for who they think had the best songs. In the end your mom counts the votes and then regardless of who the people voted for Chuck Norris, Captain Obvious, Rayman and Oscar Wilde decide who won and lost. In some cases the voters will bitch and complain but then Chuck Norris will come out and pimp or bitch slap them into submission. If the people don't stop bitching Chuck Norris will deliver a kick to thier balls which means instant death for the receiver of this kick. Most people tend to never slip up anyway. So the Annual Uncyclopedia Music Festival tends to be very quiet and slightly boring (except for the occasional butthurt that happens in the bathrooms).
Rankings that were decided as of this year
These were the rankings that Chuck Norris, Oscar Wilde, Captain Obvious and Rayman had decided ranking from 50th to 1st place.
- 50.I touch myself at night because I have no friends-<insert name here>
- 49.Oops I fucked it again-Britney Spears
- 48.Numa Numa song-Numa Numa guy
- 47.Bohemian rap city-g bizzizizizile
- 46.Too drunk to fuck- Hank Hill
- 45.Bob dollllle sings a song that Bob Dolllle sings-Bob Dollllllle
- 44.I had sex with your mom-'Ol Dirty bastard
- 43.A bitch is a bitch-Rayman
- 42.In soviet russia crabs catch you-Soviet Russian Royal Marching Band
- 41.The not so Safety Dance-Men Without Condoms
- 40.Smack your mom up-Oscar Wilde
- 39.The touch eachother song-Lord Typo
- 38.Choclate rain-Tay Zonday
- 37.Kyles mom is a bitch-Eric cartman
- 36.Hey juden-Adolf Hitler and the Nazis
- 34.The Fence-Roger Waters after pink floyd
- 3?.Heres viagra (the song)-BOB DOLLLLE
- 3?.Narrow Urethera-Hank Hill
- 3?.Kitten Huffage rules-The T.V schedule dude(look here to find out what i mean)
- 33.Welcome home-King Diamond(look here for the lyrics)
- 32.Teen spirit smells like shit-Nirvana
- 31.I love cocks-Your Mom and Mr.Slave
- 30.2 Girls 1 Equation theme song-Some really fucked up brazilian director with a calculus fetish
- 29.The fap cola theme song-The fap cola corporation
- 28.The devil went down on georgia-Jack Daniels Band
- 27.Dick (cut off and put) in a box-The American Castrators Association
- 26.I had sex with your mom,twice-'Ol Dirty Bastard
- 25.I did (You know what) again-'Ol Dirty bastard
- 24.Dont hit touby!-The uncle tom garage band
- 23.Im running out of songs to put on this list-Me
- 22.The sound of death-Chuck Norris
- 21.Im bored so i decided to edit uncyclopedia-once again me
- 20.Im singing a fucking song(you retards)-Captain Obvious
- 19.Bob Dollllle and Captain Obvious are singing a song because thats how Bob Dolllllle likes it-Bob Dolllle and Captain obvious
- 18.Bob Dolllllle and Dick Armey are singing a song that Bob Dollllle and Dick Armey really like-Bob Dollle and Dick Armey
- 17.Bob Dollllllllle needs to stop singing songs-Bob Dolllllllle
- 16.Immigrants suck (there I said it)-Lou Dobbs
- 15.Hey Judas-Soundtrack of Jesus Christ Superstar (the song was removed from the final production).
- 14.Dancing with spikes in my eyes-Billy Idols unfortunate 1984 accident
- 13.Even closer- A remake of the Rayman song by the American Pedophilia Association
- 12.I've (fucking) got (shitballs cocksucker) tourettes.-Little (motherfucker) tourettes bobby
- 11.Nothing-Nihilistic bob
- 10.Scuse me while I kiss this guy-Jimi Hendrix when he was stoned (give him a break)
- 9.Porn in the USA!-Bruce Springsteen
- 8.I shit on michael jackson-the second song by wetlife in which they express there love/hate for michael jackson
- 7.I shat on michael jackson-the first song by wetlife in which the band express there love/hate for MJ]
- 6.Uncle Fucka-Terrence & phillip
- 4.Track 2-Unknown Artist with a song that sounds different everytime you play it.
- 3.The Day of Christmas-Some lazy bastard just like you're lazy bum father who was too lazy to sing all of the song "12 days of christmas"
- 2.Theme from "slutty blonde whores bang eachother"-A pornographic film with oscar wilde in it.
- 1.Im Oscar Wilde bitches, and im getting first place so shut the fuck up-A song by oscar wilde about how you're all his bitches and he will get first place
Reaction to the festival
The last uncyclopedia music festival was mostly succsessful.There were still some people who could'nt deal with the fact that Oscar Wilde had won just because he founded uncyclopedia and that he wrote a song about how everyone in the audience was his bitch and that they could'nt do anything to stop him from getting first place. Chuck Norris of course made quick work of these agitators, this resulted in 2 deaths and 5-6 incidents of major total pimp slappage. Many members of the audience had really only come to the Uncyclopedia music festival because the advertisements said that the festival is inside "paris hilton". Once many made it inside they realized that uncyclopedia fooled them and the ads of coarse meant "paris hilton" the hotel. Many there thought that there was no longer any point in staying there. But of coarse chuck norris had locked the doors and anyone who tryed to escape was threatened with major pimp slappage by chuck norris.
Why have'nt i heard more about the festival?
There have been many worries among people at uncycloversity, (lead organizers of the festival) about the event of police comming into Paris Hilton and arresting Oscar Wilde,Chuck Norris,Your Mom and Captain obvious for illegaly holding the audience against there own will. So therfore many of the Uncycloversians have decided that all of the Brownies,fruit punch and complementary snacks that are given when you leave the festival, should be lased with Sodium Pentithol and small amounts of LSD-25. Therefore anyone who was at the festival will completely forget what just happened. All of these people will be loaded on a bus while there still drugged and delireous. The bus will drop them off at what ever place they came from. So therefore if you've ever woken up on the ground, with a really huge headache and you feel like you have just been assraped by some random person who saw your drugged and delirious body on the ground then this means that you were most likely at the Annual Uncyclopedia Music Festival (or you drank out of a beer that you left unattended at some party). Because of all of this cover-up by the organizers at Uncycloversity there has been very little knowledge about the uncyclopedia music festival.Thus awnsering your question.
Bob Barker is his bitch.
List of people who attended the festival
This whole section has been censored out by the people at uncycloversity to avoid FBI knowledge of people who were held hostage at the event
- Ronald mcdonald
- Captian Huggy Face
- That bitch over there
- That other bitch right next to her
- Another bitch right near her
- How many bitches are there here?
- Your Mom
- Bam Bam Bigelow
- Sailor Jupiter
- That black guy over there
- That other black guy right near him
- Your Face
- That guy
- The Whammer
- Mr. Obama
- The person nearest to you
- The second closest person to you at this very moment
- Ann Coulter
- Some members of uncycloversity (they thought they were organizing the event hahahahahahah!)
- Becky Speed
- Macho Man
- That homeless guy over there
- President Bush
- Peter Griffin
- Jane and The Dragon
- Osama Bin Laden
- Big Show
- IP 66.555.9987
- IP 788.455.123
- Lillian Lee
- The cast of 2 Girls 1 calculus equation
- The list goes on and on so its best you get back to work
People who were injured (or killed) by Chuck Norris at the festival
- This section has also been censored by uncycloversity in the hope that the FBI has no idea how to highlight sentences in articles.
- Your Mom who was pimp slapped by Chuck Norris for not counting the votes the right way
- Ronald Mcdonald who was bitch slappped
- Ann Coulter who was bitch slapped
- That bitch over there was pimp slapped
- That other bitch over there who was both bitch and pimp slapped
- That other bitch over there who was pimp slapped.
- Both IP 66.555.9987 and IP 788.455.123 where killed by a Chuck Norris kick to the balls. Of course it really does'nt matter because both of them were anonymous IPs. Your mom was the person who disposed of there bodies by giving them to some homeless guy who worked at a meat packaging plant. if you wonder why your meat taste so wierd you've probably had your question anwsered