User:EELguy/uafiaebfihebfejibfjasbifbasihfb

UFRJ - University of Fundão Rio de Janeiro - was created by former Dictator of Democratic Dictatorship of Brazil, Chacrinha. It is located in the Very Deep Island, northern of Rio de Janeiro, in the Guanabara Swamp. There was another campus in the Urca District, southern zone of city, but (un)fortunately it was destroyed by a massive attack of the supersoldiers that were being biologically created at Philippe Pinel Institute. As the Faculties of Law and Philosophy were in this Urca Campus, after the destruction corruption in Rio decreased by 3000% (no more lawyers) and drug deal ceased (no more users). Thus, Rio is now the 3rd most important city of Brazil (Buenos Aires and Sao Paulo are the most important ones).

Very Deep Island Campus is composed of CCS (Cecret Cervice Senter), CCMN (Center for Crazy, Mathematics and Nuts), FL (Faculty of Losers or Fags and Lesbians), FAU (Fuckers of Aunts and Uncles) and CT (Center of Terrorists).

Nowadays, as the Italian Tutti Maffia and the Chinese Maffia were destroyed in Very Deep Campus, the ECI Maffia took control of place. The year later, the ECI maffia decided that all members had to assume their homosexuality and the ECI Maffia became the biggest gay group in the World, organizing the annual gay parade in Rio de Janeiro. In a response to this GLS movement, the guys from the EEL course took control of CT including the H sector wich was the headquarter of the ECI Maffia.

Gay parade organized by the ECI Maffia

CT

The Center of Terrorists of the UFRJ is a damned, forgotten land, where Killers Wasps dance in the sky, and the Italian Tutti and Chinese Maffias are losing power afters years of domination. Nowadays, Kilowatts controls the place by being the only one that offers non-toxic food (at high, abusive prices).

We are currently looking for girls at CT (Center of Terrorists).

CT is divided in 9 sectors (A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I).

Sector A is house of Physics and Chemistry, that often explodes and rand from CCMN after the Roxinho War against the Geology Institute. Recently, a pervert has been attacking ladies in women bathrooms of Sector A. No one knows, but, actually, he's not a pervert, just a violent and selfish gay that does'nt like sharing the bathrooms.

Sector B. Nothing is there. Only a library which newest book has 60 years. Oh, there's COPPE Program of Civil Engineering on first floor... Yeah, nothing's there.

Sector C stands for Naval Engineering. That said, nothing's here as well.

Sectors D and E are the same.

Sector F has Production Engineering. Some hot girls and place where Marcelo Madureira from famous comedy program Casset and Planet, of Dictatorship Official Channel, Rede Globo, studied. Thus, Production Engineering is responsible for graduation of others clowns that don't know anything but earn more money than you. This Sector also shelters the famous Metalurgic Engineering where brilliant people study 5 years to learn to melt iron.

Sector G has the Nuclear Engineergins Laboratory. When Eneas Sheep was elected President in 2006, he started giving enormous amounts of money to the Laboratory. Nowadays, the greatest and most powerful atomic-based bomb of the world is in Sector G.

Sector H is the house of ECI (Engineering that Computes Intelligence). Once it was also place for Electric, Electronic and Mechatronics Engineerings, but these are now all extinct and only ECI remains. The world's richest man, the 3-zillion-dollars-man, Gabriel Gebara Alcantara, is a former student of ECI. According to H. Cukierman, he is the main leader of the Center of Terrorists division, because he is one of the sons of "Gebara".

Professors

Moreirão and his biggest friend, Danilo in egypt

Otto and his biggest passion

Lanza and AC on Mauros class

Professor Mesquita

Professor Agenor

Comendador Watanabe

UFRJ is famous for its crazy professors, including:

1. Strauss(Margareth) - Always wearing pink clothes and is the biggest fag. He is also a fan of the "Moreninho bem brasileiro" a former student of the 2002/2 Electronics and Computer Engineering class.
2. Flavio Mello (??) - Neh?
3. Moreirao(John Nash or Bizonho) - Gets all its knowledge from the aliens, by looking at the sky. Danilo is the closest student to Moreirão(as you can see on the photo).He is the only guy Moreirão dont dare to defy ... Danilo's knowledge about him goes away behind anyone would like to know. Danilo is also the person who gave him 1 million and 6 hundred thousands of fans on Orkut.
4. Gelson(Shrek) - Lets everybody cheat on his tests, didn't you understand?
5. Márcio(Vampeta) - Famous for its soccer skills and also a big fan of Ice Age 2.
6. Lanza(Zangado) - Alway in a bad mood.
7. Jomar(Pooh) - Always really calm and with an enormous patience, he's always around with his nike shox
8. Rhomberg(Tigrão - Friend of Pooh) - Take care when approaching him, especially if you are a girl or is with your girlfriend.
9. Joãozinho(Leitão) - Always hidden behind retroprojector he is one of Jomar closest friends. Once was lead singer of the famous rock group Queen, since his departure keeps listening band songs to recall old good times!
10. Baruqui(Abel) - His face tells everything !
11. Villas(The Brain) - Doesn't knows much about what he is supposed to teach and is always saying for you to stack and forget.Lets take control over the world!!!!!! Using C++, of course.
12. José Gabriel(Pinky) - Although he doesnt know he is Villas associate , Pinky, but a very resemblance w/ Engon of Ghostbusters
13. Luis Henrique(Otto's son) - Studied at the São Bento school and still has fear of woman wich is what is teached at São Bento.
14. Maurus(??) - Assumed to be dead by many people, even has an auditorium with his name, wich makes the theory even more real. A legend told about him is that he once tried to buy an elefant. Did you understand? No you didn't.
15. Caloba(Santa Claus) - Most people never saw him but he is belived to exist.
16. Braffman(Batman) - Famous for its enormous tests and knows the purpouse of every bit of every processor that ever existed. He can also run assembly code directly from his head.
17. Mario Vaz(??) - Loves calling you idiot and thinks that if you don't know what is the internal resistence of diode you can't be an engineer.
18. Luiz Wagner(Yeti) - Be careful with him while he is driving, he seems to be a really calm person but when he drives he goes up to 300 km/h, even with his old car. One of his big mysteries is what "Sanduiche que eu não posso comer ao contrário" means.
19. Merched(??) - Believed to be a friend of Strauss and also a big fan of Star Tek. Thinks that if you don't get approved on Eletromagnetic Theory is good, because you'll learn more. He is also the biggest enemy of the User:EELguy/EEL2002-1 class wich made him loose its teaching position.
20. Otto(Palindrome) - Supposed to be a networking teacher, but doesn't knows much about anything. Famous for it's laugh, wich is as famous as Rhomberg's one.
21. Luis Felipe(Evil) - Beleived to be the evil in person. Likes to explore his slaves at Ravel and only let's them defend their thesis after he explored them for a really long time.
22. Adriano Proença(??) - Professor of the discipline called Hi, nobody gives much attention to him and it's organization schemes.
23. Agenor(Mumm-Ra the Ever Living) - Nobody can be sure of his age, some say that he was born before writting was invented, others say that he was the the lost link between mens and monkeys(which i agree).Professor of technology history(most approprieted for a men of his age), he is belived to be deaf and blind, and talks nonsense things during all the class. Nobody ever paied attention to what he said. Groups of people makes turns to go to his class and sign for the friends. His final work is also very simple to be done, you just need the CTRL, c and v keys on your keyboard.
24. Carlos Renato (Queridinho do CT) - Phys.. umm is he a teacher?
25. Anatoly Leontiev(Lord Vader) & Wladimir Schuchmann(The Emperor) - You just need to see them walking together while they chat a little ... in Russian.
26. Leonel(??) - Writes is egypt hieroglyphs, and thinks that Capital is written with K. He also loves not to go to the class and let the students wait for him.
27. Nirzi(??) - Calculus 1 teacher. Came with Cabral on the Brazil discovery and want's you to prove anything on his tests. Thanks to Rhomberg he faield to make all the class do Calculus 1 again.
28. Luis Felipe(??) - Calculus 2 teacher. If you write your name on the test you already have 5. If you do something remotely similar to what had to be done, you get all the points of the question.
29. Marisa(??) - Calculus 3 teacher. Famous for her phrase: "se o meu buraco fosse um ponto"(if my hole was a point).
30. Sérgio(??) - Physics 1 teacher. What is the value of this sum? Zero. All sums for him are equal to zero
31. Yara(??) - Physics 2 teacher. Has a really boring voice and almost nobody pay attention to her class.
32. Marroquim(??) - Physics 4 teacher. You(or your desk) has to know all the formulas and you will get 10 on his tests. Had some real trouble with writting correctly and drawing motorbikes inside a tube and became a legend teaching Electromagnetic Theory 1 once. He could spend some classes just to prove some integrals results to be zero.
33. Jaime Rivera(??) - Calculus teacher. "Puedes apostar SU messada que sejhrrah homorrenea!!!". Famous for his book full of stupid errors and for it's revolutionary mechanics, stating that when a car makes a curve it has only a centripetal and centrifugal forces.
34. José Arthur(??) - Wouldn't give the Friday 3pm to 5pm classes due to a very important appointment which was further known by being soccer games. Loves zeros and ones and Karnaugh maps.
35. Osvaldo(Bearded Emo) - Loves telling history about books and movies. Also likes to ask the stupidiest things on his tests, like how many books the solaris library had. Thinks that Control I serves for no purpouse and he only teaches that because there is nobody else. He is also a fan of Akira Kurosawa and it's movies, wich the students even has to watch the credits in Japanese at the end of the movie.
36. Paulo Wells (??) - Physics teacher. Famous for his epic theorem: "Vectors live in a world were only vectors exists".
37. Josimar (??) - Supposed to teach environmental engineering. In fact, just wants the people to buy his book, wich is absolutely useless.
38. Airton(Hippie) - Came from the Hippie movement and nobody understands a word of what he says or explains. Even this way people can get more than 10 on his tests.
39. Saldanha(??) - Wants the people to draw some stupid things. Famous for his discussion with a student when both almost began to fight.
40. Roosevelt(Duende) - Gets really mad if the class doesn't pay attention to his classes. He gave the most impossible test to the User:EELguy/EEL2002-1 class, and even fooled one person wich thought the questions of test was only on the first page and end up only doing half of the test.
41. Mesquita(Alf - o ETeimoso) - Never stops smoking and even tried to smoke a chalk one day. Got really mad at the User:EELguy/EEL2002-1 class because some people complained he didn't gave classes. He also discovered that many people were cheating on his tests, because on tangent error wich nobody saw. He usually says that any circuit problem can be solved using four things: KVL, KCL, Ohm's Law and Sense. Onion is garlic's dual.
42. Liu(??) - Nobody pay attention to his class and people only did well on his tests because Piu-Piu got Ramon's tests wich Liu didn't changed really much.
43. Lima Netto(??) - Married one of his students and is also a big enemy of the EEL2002-1 class, because of his friend Merched. Knows a lot about cooking "farofa". He became the happiest person of the world after student Alberto Wagner discovered a web site that recognized faces and told him that Lima Netto seems "David Beckham"!
44. Eduardo(??) - Is a great professor but his tests are really difficult and people were only able to get good grades with the help of Shreak.
45. Seixas(66Seixas) - Has the ability to appear whenever you're trying to hide from him. If you do something that it's amazingly good he will give you a C. He is also a big fan of Danilo, Moreirão's friend. He is Werneck's Yin dual in instrumentation classes, aways archiving records of fails and discipline desistance.
46. Diniz(??) - Loves to talk about other people. One of his contributions is what he did to Moreirão. Sometime ago, while both of them were at a country in Europe, he payed some money for a drunk woman to kiss Moreirão, wich runned from the woman shouting no,no,no.
47. Aloysio(??) - You have to write everything on his test exactly the way he wants, if you change a word, you get zero. He uses the most stlysh glasses in CT, and his glasses is believed to have extra powers, like X-Ray vision. Although with all this vision power he doesn't care abot people cheating on his tests, especially when the people are using cheats on a paper with bears(in fact a Helllo Kitty, but he doesn't knows the difference). On his final work you can also do something that remotely seems to work and you'll get a good grade. Even if on your system only the login works you get an 8.
48. Watanabe(??) - Was made in Japan and then was imported into Brazil by a guy from Paraguay . He knows many incredible histories you can't even think, but he wasn't able to use the sanitary on one of the hotels he went on Japan. His tests are also amazingly difficult, and he thinks that if the class has an average of 4 it's normal, it's always this way. He has also received the title of "comendador" by the brazillian president Lula, because of his work done to make people hate eletric engineer so Brazil will have to spend less on the public University and have more dumb people, like the president thinks the population has to be. He is also a big friend of the palindrome Otto.
49. Rezende(Otto's renegated son) - He is belived to be one of Strauss secret friends that realizes all his sadomasoquist fantasies. He was one of Otto's son and began doing scientific(only?) initiation with him.
50. Sergio Palma(Chororó's brother) - Famous for his hair with a mullet style. Once he was a baby he used different databases. The first present he received from his parents was a license of Oracle. One day he almost killed his friend because his friend gave him a copy of MySQL, wich he thinks is not a database. He was resposible for the Matrix database, wich had 100 thousands hexabytes and he optimized the matrix database queries that were taking more than one month to run in 2 milliseconds.
51. AC(DC/Mestre dos Magos) - He is the professor that orientates most of the final projects on CT. He is famous for his enormous tests and works on software engineering.
52. Dora Izzo(Blond Devil) - Do not be fooled by her lovely face. This Physics 3/Experimental-Physics professor hides a devil inside. The only thing you will learn at her class is to use integrals or how to take shocks on the lightning generators at UFRJ Physics labs. She don't use any vehicles, she just run singing "Runing with the devil" from her house at the depths to the very deep island to teach at UFRJ. She did her PhD at MIT, but she forgot everything when she turned her hair blond.
53. Casé(Puro Osso) - Together with his friend Batman, takes care of all the crazy students and professors from DEL.
54. Marcelo Campos(Murphy) - He's best friend of Murphy, being always prized with unpleasent situations. Fears travelling by aircraft and may cause several trouble to flights in Argentina.He also freaked some students with irreversal damage by drawing a clock to indicate endline of exams.
55. Joarez(Highlander) - famous for his "pochete" (I don't know how to say it in English!). He NEVER get's old.
56. Petraglia(??) - If it's 3:00PM you'll surely will watch him breaking lightspeed until he reaches his car.
57. Gil(Brother) -
58. Lizarralde (Evita) - Escaped from a miserable childhood in the same favela in which lived Carlitos Tevez. His child trauma caused him Parkinson disease, which is visible when loses control of his head and starts to shake it nervously. This happens when he isn't able to answer to a student's question, so it happens almost every 15 minutes. He's got a hobby - he likes to fuck up his students every time Argentina or Corinthians lose a soccer game.
59. Werneck(??) - Wernek and Seixas are duals in instrumentation classes nowadays, Werneck represents Yang. Has the power to stretch time indefinitely while talking about optic fibers ( almost all the time). One funny fact is that he CAN speak and teach without any audience, by just keep looking forward and speaking with his slides letters in his face making a ZORRO mask while the whole class pretends to be paying attention and he pretends to be teaching.
60. Mariane(MÃEriane) -
61. Darcy (garoto enxaqueca) - suffers of many psychiatric diseases, which can be explained based on Sigmund Freud's, Jomar Gozzi's and Osvaldo Pereira's studies. The latter states that Darcy is compulsive and maniac: he only starts a meal when his family members are placed in their correct chairs; his office is extremely and sickly well organized, and he only starts to work when the sharpener is placed on the right side of the computer mouse, and Paulo Zulu naked poster is placed making 37 degrees with the horizon line, above the door. On the other hand, Freud's studies state that Darcy's coloured fag Powerpoint slides, together with his stress, can be explained by absence of his wife on her sexual duties, in addition to his frustration of never having met Paulo Zulu naked live, but he sometimes release some of his frustration with some loco dancing at gay parades.

1. Zé Orlando (zé careca) -

Staff

Luizinho and the contact paper

1. Luizinho(??) - The only guy that makes something on the DEL scretary, but also doesn't have much patience. He once did something that many people still doesn't beleive. Robin's secretary once gave him one sheet of paper with the days and hours of class and two sheets of "contact". He got some durex and putted the sheet with the classes on the door the room. Later he got the "contact" plastic and throwed it into the trash. With just the sheets of paper that is on the back of the "contact", he got some tape and also putted that on the door. The photo of this amazing work is on the right.
2. Heliomar(??) - Doesn't do anything, don't even try to ask her something.
3. Conceição(Gretchen or Índia Velha) - Just speak on the phone all the day long.
4. Márcio(??) - Doesn't likes to give you new components when you burn yours.
5. Joacyr(??) - The guy that controls the Sector A auditorium. On the 2006 week of electronics he by mistake played the "plantão" music from Globo insted of the brazil hymn and was fired instantly by the CT "decano".