User:Docile hippopotamus/Why?:Be like The Woodburninator (and join his bear army)?

Why? Be like The Woodburninator?

“Yeah, I've read some of that guy's stuff. D+, wouldn't read again.”

~ Friend of The Woodburninator mistaking The Woodburninator for RAHB.

In the words of the man himself, “Ya Garbage! Do ya hee-a me?! Ya Ain't NUTHIN! Do ya hee-a me?! YA GABAGE!!! YA GABAGE!” Luckily for you, that can change. Read on, and learn why? Become the Woodburninator.

But why should I?

The man. The legend. The Woodburninator.

Why should you? Why should you!? There are plenty of reasons to be like The Woodburninator. He’s Noob of the Month June 2008, UnBooks Author of the Month April 2009, CUN, and has written around 13 articles of feature article quality! (note: all Woodburninator articles are of VFH quality).

Think of all the things you could learn from being like The Woodburninator. No longer will you suffer from chronic under-mediocrity. You will finally be able to embrace your full potential but only if you become like The Woodburninator.

Besides, why would you want to be you? You’re just some average user. Admit it. You know I’m right.

Also, he has telekinesis, control over fire, beat Street Fighter with Ryu and is a level 71 necromancer.

How could The Woodburninator be described in three words?

Better than you.

Alternatively,

He burns wood.

What do people think of The Woodburninator?

All sorts of crazed and non-crazed things! Read on about what other users have said about him:

“Are you saying that you invented The Woodburninator for an article? You monster! You created an artificial life just so it could be exploited in writing?! I can't believe this! Here! In our very own Uncyclopedia! I never would have guessed it myself.

The Woodburninator using his powers of fire on an unsuspecting ice beast.

But yeah, he's an OK guy.”

~ RAHB on The Woodburninator.

“I think of all people the same way. I'm a misanthrope - I find it saves time.”

~ Under User thinks all people are like The Woodburninator.

“I'll say this, The Woodburninator looks good in a kilt.”

~ Modusoperandi talking about The Woodburninator in a strange and creepy way.

“He looks like a messed up mofo...but a good writer and a swell guy.”

~ StonedJeff on The Woodburninator.

“The Woodburninator eats Japanese people and shits rice. Also, TITS OR GFTO!”

~ TGLSoN on The Woodburninator.

If your still not convinced, take a look at these written by The Woodburninator himself

this this

this this

this this

this this

this this

this this

this

Why? Join his lion army

Trogdor joined the lion army. Will you?

Safety and security.

It’s free.

Winning side of the bear vs lion conflict.

Ruffles the tiger says so.

Its what Trogdor did. Trogdor is a colonel in the lion army.

I’m still not convinced

Our other reasons should convince you.

Reason involving intimidation

Sometimes The Woodburninator likes to turn into two dinosaurs and randomly ask people complex math equations. You’d better get the correct answer, motherfucker

We know where you live. We will come and get and kitten huff you if you don’t join. Of course our glorious leader would not approve of us doing this, but we like to think its what’s best for everyone.

Let’s think of this as a textbook example:

Problem:

1. You have a basket with five apples. 2. Ted has a basket with three apples. 3. If Ted puts all of his apples in your basket, how many apples do you now have?

Solution:

Dude, that lion just popped out of nowhere and mauled your face off! Why didn’t you join the lion army!? Why!?!?!?

Miscellaneous reason

Umm...free pie...

Delicious and nutritious.

You know what you must do

Go out and become like The Woodburninator today! And join his lion army!

Do it today! OR ELSE!

Disclaimer

The Woodburninator doesn’t want more stalkers. As the Woodburninator said “Now I have another stalker? Hmmmm…I may have to bring out my attack dog soon.” Yes, The Woodburninator has many stalkers. And attack dogs. And dead stalkers.