User:Dejinx/Limited Internet

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Limited Internet[edit | edit source]

Today, (Stardate 55162.9) the Elders of the Internet admitted that their hard drive, which contains all 9,413,371,337 pages of the internet, had begun to get full. People were surprised to hear that rather than storing pages on servers they had opted to store everything on a single hard drive so that it was much easier to move.

Although they wouldn't say how much data has been used (to prevent terrorists from purposely filling the drive up) the Internet Elders did inform us that upon analyzing the hard drive (which is split up into 1,024 separate partitions each containing 1,000,000 websites) which took approximately 43 hours, results came through showing that most of the pages are Google search results. Google was contacted by the Elders to be informed of this and they were asked why if they could delete a few million of their pages. They replied claiming that there wasn't much that they could do to free up any pages. Unfortunately Google also insisted on explaining how their search engine works (as always) since they love to show off.

The 120GB Wireless HDD (52MB Wireless connection) contains the internet.


Google


Finally they actually gave the answer to the original question.


Google, 48 minutes later


It is rumored that off-camera Google suggested that they delete other sites rather then deleting their pages. Then Google would need less pages in the first place.


Wikipedia was also asked to let some pages go. Some random guy (who claims to own Wikipedia) replied with a simple, short answer.


“That wouldn't help. If I deleted the Wiki articles, people would just create them again, duh. It's not like Wikipedia is under my control, I just take the credit.”


The Internet Elders finally came to a conclusion when having a discussion between themselves. After two and a half hours of what we can only assume was talking, they eventually announced that they were going to attempt simply deleting most of the Myspace, Facebook and Bebo pages.


“They take up loads of space (especially Myspace, hence the name) and most of them aren't even used anymore.”

Another Elder


It was also agreed that they'd leave any pages containing pages of hot teen girls. But mixed responses came from different websites.


“Do it!”

Google

“But we need to keep all of the information about EVERYONE!”

“We care very much about maintaining pages of our young users. Especially pictures. You can't ask us to get rid of them.”

Bebo

“When we started out we were hoping these kids would actually make some good fricken websites to increase our fame. But these little brats can't even design a good website using the advanced tools we gave them! Delete em, we don't really care.”

Piczo

“Just don't delete my page, guys.”

Tom from Myspace

“Don't listen to Tom, he doesn't even work with Myspace. He's just a hacker.”

Myspace


And quite a lot of Internet surfers aren't enthusiastic about this approach. Particularly math geeks.


“This isn't going to work! We're all going to die!!!”


“Think about the math, guys... The increase rate of the websites divided by the deletion of these pages is 409,821. So deleting is only going to delay the full hard drive by about 3 days.”

Math Geek/Discoverer of the number 17


“3 extra days to masturbate to porn? Worth it.”

Friend on guy above


“Why don't they just get a new hard drive?! It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. Or why couldn't they have listened to my original suggestion and put everything on a server. You can get them small enough to carry these days so it's not like anything bad can happen.”

5 Year Old Kid


-- Internet Elders reply to the quote above


Some people are feeling good about the plan, though.




Updates[edit | edit source]

17 November, 2009[edit | edit source]

Updates on the situation will come at a later time. For now the Elders are working on creating a backup archive on a Floppy Disk so that if the hard drive explodes due to the strain we can simply launch the backup.

Another Elder "The best thing is that when the backup is launched, everything in existence will go back to the time when the backup finishes so we won't miss a period where the internet isn't updated."

23 January, 2010[edit | edit source]

The Elders successfully saved half of the hard drive space via super 7Zip compression (during which time some websites were lost). Although this problem is only solved until about the year 2534, it will be their problem.

8 September, 2010[edit | edit source]

The year of a rebirth of this problem is now re-estimated to the year 2102, due to excessive help posts by a member of the noob community, otherwise known as yair1221.

Sources[edit | edit source]