User:Ceraxis

Ceraxis, born Dickman Tailhead, is a man-whore who seduces women and, more notably, gay men on a daily basis. He is 752 years old and lives in a sinking boat, probably due to the vast quantities of sex toys he stores below deck.

While not molesting the general population, Ceraxis is a philosopher who studies the teachings of Fred Phelps. In 1984 he erected a statue of Fred Phelps in the navigation room and declared it a shrine. As a result his girlfriend declared him bat fuck insane and dumped him. This did not stop him, however, and in 1996 he sailed to Kansas where he met Fred Phelps. Phelps, who did especially enjoy seeing a nude hermit sailor on his doorstep, engaged in a two-day long orgy with Ceraxis that concluded in a hot, steamy bath of whale cum.

Ceraxis has been spotted recently in several stores in San Francisco outbuying entire supplies of prostate messagers and vibrators. Where he finds the money for these transactions is unknown, though his wallet often seems bulging with credit cards. He is reportedly an unpublished writer of many pornographic novels, some gay, some straight, and some bisexual, and many depicting incidents where the protagonist encounters Fred Phelps, who always seems to be armed with a dildo.