User:Bp2611/9gag

“I think I saw this picture a few seconds ago.”

~ Oscar Wilde on reposts

“REPOST!1!1one!!eleven!11”

~ 9gager on reposts

“This is shit.”

~ Captain Obvious on 9gag

9gag is the name of a very large septic tank, located somewhere on Earth. Strangely, it has signs of life. It is currently inhabited by a large amount of hipsters, forever alones, grammar nazis, illiterate scumbags, faggots, boobs and asses. They communicate by using a very strange language, and recognize themselves as "9gagers" (because grammar is too mainstream, brah!).

A typical 9gager.

History of 9gag

The 9gager (9gagerus idiotus magnus) is the most undeveloped human being known to man. It is a species which dates back to 2003, when the Human Genome Project was about to be finished. An anonymous researcher who was involved in the HGP ejaculated onto the glass slides that contained DNA. All slides were cryogenically frozen to preserve them. When the time came to thaw the slides and analyse the information the DNA contained, one of the researchers noted:

"...the slides were covered in a gooey, smelly substance. Later that day we figured out that the substance was sperm, so we threw them away when we went to McDonald's after work. We thought that it wouldn't harm anyone if we throw them in a regular trash can. We masturbate every day, we don't need special biohazard waste containers to dispose of sperm..."

.

But they didn't know that the little sample would grow into a humanoid which will reproduce and make a community which would eat the shit 4chan produces on a daily basis. Residing in its basement, it feeds on nothing but feces, sperm and Nutella.

Hipsters on 9gag

“That grass is a little too blue for my liking.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Instagram

All we need is a shitty emo phrase.

Hipsters are leper-infested specimen that use the latest iFag gear to create pseudo-inspirational bullshit which helps them "express themselves". A post may be created by a hipster if:

1. The picture looks like it is drenched in piss.
2. The background depicts a sunset, or something that is similarly deep.
3. There is a very motivational and deep phrase in the middle of the picture.

Examples:

• "I was waiting...before you came..."
• "I miss your gentle touch, but I know it's not the same anymore...."
• "Look at me in the eyes, and embrace me."

Fanboys & their garbage

Fanboys produce the most rage-inducing content on 9gag. This category of 9gagers is

Recent studies have shown that prolonged viewing of this picture reduces one's IQ by 60%

Ever since the

“zOMG thet awkard moment when the hp series is finish and you see that yu haff nuting to do wit youre live anymoar...:'(”

~ Harrypotterfag on the end of the Harry Potter series