User:AlbinoNeutrino/West Bollocks Albion

West Bollocks Albion is a small English town that is famous only for being even worse than the notorious Bollocks Albion, which lies to the east, just past the sewage packing factory.

Ninety percent of employment in West Bollocks Albion is provided by the sewage packing factory, where two people are paid to stuff sewage into small bags in the hopes of selling it to lost tourists for food. That is the official line, anyway. In point of fact, only one of the employees is paid. The other one does it because he claims it is more fun than looking out the window.

Everyone else is unemployed and looks out of windows. This is a difficult and challenging past time for the average West Bollocks Albion-un. Glass is very much a thing of the past here. Most of the windows are consequently made of bricks. Bricks are easy to find and cheaper than glass. In many cases, the bricks were simply thrown into houses, proving what a flimsy material the glass was in the first place.

The 1967 visit by HRH Prince Charles

In 1967, West Bollocks Albion was briefly visited by Prince Charles. He drove through, very fast, in his Land Rover. The people of the town turned out in their tens to wave, cheer and throw gravel. Sadly, HRH was merely lost and desperate. One of the townspeople had his foot run over. He might have sued, except that the others ate him.

Places to see

If you are visiting West Bollocks Albion, a must see is the B34 trunk road. This is the fastest road out of the place. There is usually a taxi-rank there, except it sometimes gets stolen and sold for beer money.