User:Akromax/Yellow People2
Yellow people are an ancient Asian people who have settled in China, Japan, Korea, Thaïland and other countries that we don't care of. A little known fact is that this ethnic group did not originate in these locations, but in fact came from Viking cross-breeding experiments with the local animals. Those crazy Vikings! They'd breed with anything!
Common names for these peoples include “lemon faces” (or “ching-chong” to other members of the yellow people race). Yellow people are well known for their massive numbers despite their inferior fertility and for their history, punctuated by wars, heroic acts of suicide, and major discoveries all of this in spite of the fact that they have only one small dick between the lot of them.
Despite all of this, yellow people aren't happy with just living in Asia any more. Yellow people need space (or lebensraum). We must, at any cost, keep the Yellow people away from here.
We're under attack!?!?![edit | edit source]
Please, it's too early to panic. From Wikipedia, I have learned that yellow people never fight, because they have such small dicks. In order to colonize a territory, they don't act like White people (who destroy everything with expensive toys), like Arabs (who kill themselves for God's glory), like Aztecs (who have never actually won any wars), or like Black people (calling dibs on the lower-class and breeding plentifully).
Yellow people colonization strategy[edit | edit source]
I have been watching them, though, and you know what? Yellow people use all of these methods! They are supported by a fucking huge national army (in Japan or China or something), they're totally crazy about video games, they're selling their "cultural artifacts" for White Man's gold, and they're overflowing our society's lower classes!
They will first immigrate in mass. They will then build lots of little shops, helped by the Yakuza (a kind of "Yellow-mafia"), and they will sell weird crap, like dogs' weiners, long-distance pre-paid phonecards, or simply drugs like meth or Prozac.
Three generations at a time will work themselves to death to earn three times the amount of a normal, lazy white family, and instead of playing and drinking it as is the proper way to behave, the fourth generation will invest their money in the next social class.
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| Well, what's wrong with that? They're being industrious and taking their lives in their own hands, that's all... |
Yellow people's aggressive strategy[edit | edit source]
The second part of Yellow people's strategy consists in launching cultural warfare to promote the yellow cause. And so they created WoW, Tokio Hotel, Dragon Ball Z or Pokemon.
The crowd, oblivious of Yellow people's dangerous ideology peddled by these products, fell into addiction, and developed sympathy for them, before considering their own race!
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| Hey ! I like Tokio Hotel ! |
Parasitism of Education and Financial system[edit | edit source]
Once a strong part of population has become "Yellow-lovers," most of their work was done. The Secretary of Education, who not only has all the Pokemon games, but the card game as well, can now pull string for the Yellow "persons" and place them at the head of the biggest universities!
And now, it's a like a hideous, yellow landscape that can decide political, cultural and economic decisions in our country!
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| Oh, come on! Thele have always been Yellow people at impoltant posts in youl countly! |
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| I am the blue hailed gi'l of coulse! |
Modification of the past[edit | edit source]
Have you ever read 1984? Well, Yellow people act like this! They modify our history... they delete our past. We have no wars anymore, we have no national identity anymore, we have no culture anymore. They assimilate us, fucking bastards! Like the Borg, they are assimilating us!
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| You will be assimirated, lesistance is futire! |
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| Just kidding. Wait, you should carm youlself, othelwise you'le going to have a healt attack... |
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| Tarking like what? We all tark rike that hele, you have a stlange accent. |
We're under attack![edit | edit source]
Ok ok, I hear you saying "you just said we were fine"... Well, obviously I don't know everything, otherwise I could be writing on Wikipedia, instead of here...
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The blue-haired girl says: |
| Wikipedia? You must be tarking about 維基百科? I'm aflaid I must lemind you that the govelnment suggests evelyone to talk and wlite in our language, and not the foleigner capitarist's one. |
Holy shit!
But I won't give up! We resisted the germans, Polish, blacks, arabs! We won't be beaten by small-dicked dog-eaters, oh no! I'm going to lock myself down into my cellar and carry on our cultural heritage, whatever the cost!
My plan is to take food and water, to create a resistance radio channel, to take my old Game Boy to hold out...
Hum... Which game should I play? This one is supposed to be pretty good...
