Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Why?:Talk to Emily Deschanel
Why?:Talk to Emily Deschanel[edit source]
I wrote this months ago but I thought it sucked. But then I read it today and it made me laugh. So one of me has to be wrong. 
pillow talk 22:47, February 1, 2012 (UTC)
I was gonna skip this as I didn't know who she was. Then I opened up the page and wet myself so I decided to give you my to bobs worth. Problem is, I won't have any bobs until payday so this might take a while. I understand and I wish to continue. 
. 09:15, February 3, 2012 (UTC)
| Humour: | 9 | First up I’ll have to admit that my girlfriend has taken a recent liking to watching some contrived show about a forensic anthropologist staring an overgrown pale goblin so I’m a little biased in favour of this article. For some reason I was unable to work out why she’s so off-putting and I‘m still not totally sure so this article at least makes me feel I’m not alone. That said, this article creates a similar problem connected to politically motivated articles in that it might polarize readers depending on pre conceived opinions of her (I wont refer to her name as I hear if you say it three times in a row in front of a mirror she materialises behind you and starts “performing” a read-through of the latest Bones episode.) And by that I mean fans of her won’t find this a funny as the “haterz”, of which I hope there are plenty.
The best thing about this article, which is more of a concept thing, is that that rarely directly hangs shit on "her". Instead, it pokes a pointy stick at "her" from behind a curtain by suggesting it's not the writer that hates her but everyone that knows her. SectionsThe introduction is short and sweet which allows the reader to get to the good stuff straight away. I think adding more content would only bog it down and it wouldn’t suit the tone of the rest of the article which is only loosely related back to “her”. The following three sections are hilarious and I wouldn’t change them too much unless you come up with more jokes of a similar quality. The Pizza hut section was a hilarious addition although I feel the execution isn’t as funny as the other three sections. The reasons for needing her phone for getting Pizza huts number are pretty weak and then you resort to paying out on “her” again. Why is she getting pizza 14 times a week? This seems like a random fat joke which doesn’t really belong as she may be many terrible things but I’m pretty sure she isn’t morbidly obese. Perhaps you could make up some bullshit about her scavenging through the Pizza hut bins looking for some old pizza grease to blur her face and make her less ugly. That’s a really shitty idea but then again, I’m a really shitty person. In summary, this is a funny and original article that gets better as it goes along. I think you’ve got the length, tone and timing of the article spot on so there’s really nothing I can think of to improve it too much. The article does a good job of building up to the hilarious punch line at the end while providing good laughs throughout. The only downside I can see to this article is a complete lack of Oscar Wilde quotes, Hitler and Nazi references, burning dog jokes, kitten huffing references or pictures of Chuck Norris punching things. |
| Concept: | 8 | As I’ve already said, there was nothing about the title that really enticed me to read the article and to be totally honest, I thought it was going to be crap. How wrong I was. This is a creative and funny way to shit all over someone without resorting to IP styled insults such as “So and so smells like poo and wankz big cockz and raped Hitler’s donkey while dismantling a ride on lawn mower.” I really liked the way you restricted the use of personal insults and instead, took the article on a wild tangent, talking about everyone except “her” which then lead up to a hilarious punch line at the end. |
| Prose and formatting: | 10 | Everything seems good to me. |
| Images: | 7 | The first picture had me giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl getting fondled by her gym instructor behind the schools brand new electronic scoreboard during afternoon lunch time. I actually woke up last night and startling laughing at it. Maybe it’s just my immaturity or whatever but this is one of the few pictures I’ve seen on this site that didn’t require a clever caption so nice choice there. The caption was pretty funny though.
The second picture didn’t really do much for me. The caption, while funny takes the article down “pointless personal insult lane” which you manage to avoid really well throughout the article. Perhaps a picture of Zooey or Boreanaz with a caption with a similar theme to the rest of the article would suit better. I suppose a third picture couldn’t hurt either. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4 | The amount of times my cat jumped onto my laptop and tried to stick his balls in my face while writing this. |
| Final Score: | 38 | I’d be happy to nom this bad boy on VFH if you want although you can just do it yourself when your ready. |
| Reviewer: | I understand and I wish to continue. . 04:30, February 4, 2012 (UTC)
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