Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:SysRq/High School (WIP)
User:SysRq/High School[edit source]
Alright, this article is NOT finished yet, obviously. I'm awaiting some image assistance, for one, so I won't be too worried by the goose egg awaiting me in the image section. I know what direction I want to go with that, so images aren't a big concern for me right now. I'd like an EXPERIENCED reviewer to do this for me, so that I can get a good feel as to whether or not I'm on the right track, and I'd love any advice as to where to go from here. I guess I'm just...stuck. Thanks in advance! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 19:58 Mar 16
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Behold! A flowering perennial of most becoming prodigious-ity has taken root. Sensitive sinus sufferers beware: this article is under the green thumb of |
High School...the lemon-scented days of youth! Ahahaha, Mightydandylion 
(talk) Fk 18:58, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Note 1. “High School is a classic video game first released by Atari in 1989. It was the first game of its kind that had the ability to affect the future of the player, earning it the nickname "the game that matters" by both players and critics alike.” Very good. Seamless weaving in of a popular aphorism and the introduction of the concept: high school as a video game. Very clever but only elicited appreciation. The quote at the beginning elicited a smile though.
Note 2. “The innovative game interface was seen by some as a breath of fresh air in the gaming industry. Others saw it as the end of the world. Nevertheless, High School is regarded by most as the easiest and most intuitive game of its day. The objective is simple: gain enough Popularity Points to advance up the food chain and graduate as a socially acceptable and valuable individual. In order to gain Popularity Points, players have to perform tasks in order to appeal to their peers, who are all non-player characters controlled by the main game engine.[1]” The nature of the subject lends itself easily to derision—often to the point of maliciousness—resulting in cliché: the tone of this article however assumes a more detached and light-hearted ironic tone which is very much appreciated. Kudos all around. However, the accruement of popularity points as the objective, while certainly evocative of the high school experience, is not funny and a bit uninspired. But the line reinforces the concept. The footnote was clever. This paragraph elicited recognition but no smirks, smiles, or lols. Note 3. “There are several clearly defined groups that the player must decide early on to align with or reject completely. This is vital to gaining Popularity Points.” Not particularly provocative: one actually found themselves waiting for the elaboration on high school groups. Such elaboration is the storied tradition of high school articles. Note 4. “A terrible choice. Nerds offer very little bonus multipliers to your Popularity Points, nor do they offer very many opportunities to earn Popularity Points. In fact, the only way to earn Popularity Points as a member of the Nerd group is by helping other groups cheat on tests and creating a false persona on social networking sites. The game explicitly warns players very early on of the dangers of aligning with Nerds. The only advantages are that they will accept almost anyone who is accepting of them, meaning even the most inept players have a chance of making progress in the game.” Certainly not abrasive (which characterizes many a discussion on nerds); but not funny. This paragraph anticipates the development of the rest of the article as being largely dependent upon evoking cliché. However, “The game explicitly warns players very early on of the dangers of aligning with Nerds." is particularly tickling. Note 5. “This is one of the features that made the game so popular during the early 90s because it was designed for everyone.” Please explain: nineties culture is lost upon me. Note 6. “Another terrible choice, perhaps the only wrong choice in the whole of the game. Becoming a part of this group thrusts the player deep into a secret plot to shoot up all the minorities at the school. The player is not informed that this is a suicide mission, and, should they decide to go through with the plan, will find themselves alone amidst flaming piles of Negro carcases. This is Game Over.” Very good. The deadpan delivery of the first line coupled with the vivid (if macabre) imagery elicited appreciation and O_O Note 7. “Being a Nobody has its advantages and disadvantages. Very little attention is drawn to the player, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. Personality Points have a x1 multiplier, and come by every once in a while. The player makes some friends, but not too many. Intelligence levels in this group are about average. No one really pays any attention to this group. Players are not really advised to join or avoid this group, in fact, it's barely mentioned throughout the game.” Ironically, this part was forgettable. Even the tone assumed a hint of drudging apathy. Note 8. Gangstas, Preps, Events, and Fans of High School sections. Forgettable as well. Note 9. "High School is, according to the back of the box, filled with a variety of tasks and quests called Events." Hitherto, there have been no explicit reaffirmations of the concept (the popularity points at best suggest a weak connection to video gaming). "according to the back of the box” reinforces the concept. Note 10. Criticism of High School section is empty. |
| Concept: | 8 | Good concept. Discussing high schools and their vicissitudes as a videogame diffuses the all-too-real gravitas surrounding them: comparing things to games is a surefire way to trivialize something. Also, part of the appeal of the article is its immediacy of relevance to—I imagine—a large readership in Uncyclopedia: the teen/twentysomethings. Myself included. The video game metaphor helps makes it all the more relatable as well. Thoughtful discussion of a cliché susceptible topic. Kudos. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | No qualms about the prose (save for one point).
Note 1. “Many critics of the game argue that this discourages individuality and that, rather than choosing a group that will fit a player's personality. The game's designers have addressed this issue, replying that "there is actually no personality feature in the game to further encourage the collection of Popularity Points[2]." Very confusing. A shame too, I’d very much like to understand the footnote. The formatting needs a shot of Aesthete. |
| Images: | 0 | No images. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | Averaged. |
| Final Score: | 25 | The concept is good. And the tone employed is most welcome. However, there is a substantial difference in quality between the first part (ending with Neo-Nazis/Skinheads section) and the following second part which suggests hurried execution. The first part evidenced a mind carefully negotiating the pitfalls of cliché prevalent in discussion of such a subject matter whilst the latter part evidenced otherwise. Just take time in developing the idea. It’s very difficult to do considering the subject: after all, it seems like everything under the sun has been discussed about it. Still, that just means that when you do come up with a new idea it’ll be all the more brilliant :) Godspeed. |
| Reviewer: | Mightydandylion (talk) Fk 07:13, 23 March 2008 (UTC)
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