Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:Mnbvcxz/ICarly

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User:Mnbvcxz/ICarly/TOS

Ok, how do I make this funny and fit for mainspace, while still keeping the overall theme? (And by overall theme, I mean the womb newts). --Mnb'z 16:21, 4 June 2009 (UTC)

UPDATE I'm going to break this one up into several sections (and I probably won't mainspace all of it). Right now, I'm working on "The Original Series" (The first 5 episodes). --Mnb'z 02:48, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

This raptor is guarding this article while his master, Iwillkillyou333 is reviewing it. Be Careful! He Bites.

Damn this took me a while becasue I had other things to do, but I did it. Could let it stand in the Articles Need Reviewing section any longer. -   TALK What's it like to be a heretic?

Humour:	4	First I have to say that the article is really boring and very little humorous. No offense, but I don't think people would enjoy this and would just stop reading it once the get to the thir season. Your first iCarly article, iCarly/Critism, was much better. I will put the problems of your article into different sections. The Random episodes The problem I have with this is that the episodes were randomly made, rather than a parody of actually episodes. Although its ok to put random things, like the article Eurg and many UnBooks and articles, but it does't kill to put some trueful things. For example, the article Code Lyoko (I don't know if its still up or not) had parody's of actually episodes, like the first episode of Code Lyoko it a giant stuff teddy bear attacking the group, while in Uncyclopedia, it says a giant stuff Rayquaza doll. Is different, but it does tell that a giant stuff animal attack. And in my article Glen Benton most things are true or based off true events. So its funnier to have truthfulness in an article rather made up stuff, as people who watch the show will get the joke and people who don't will at least get a good laugh. Newt in the Belly This is what I really had a problem with. First, the show isnt about Carly having a newt in her belly, its about her and her friends doing a webcam show and how it effects there life. Plus, you pretty much over used it. I know you want the newt thing in there and thats fine, its your article. But don't over use it, as things can get boring. I'll give you some examples on how you can use the newt thing. On the episode where she as to show some crappy shoes on her webshow, and at the part were it shocks her, you can put, "The shoes electricuted her and could have been killed if her newt hadn't soak up most of the elecrtricity," or if she had to distract one or more people you can put, "In order to disrac some people, Carly and her newt did Irish tap dance." Do it anyway you want and dont over do it. And don't make the newts torture Carly, thats just sad. Spencer Builds a sculpture I think you need to make Spencer do more than make a sculture, and I know he's an artist, but he have done other things in the show. But if you want, you can put something like, "In an atempt to save Carly and her newt from being taken away by her evil uncle, he builds a sculpture to bribe her uncle to reconsider," or something like that. And don't make him die, cause you can't kill Spencer off, thats just not right. Other The yellow fever, Benson and Chippy are very random and probaly should go. And theres alot of drama in it rather than humor, which would disinterest a person whos looking at the article. This isn't Dramapedia. Make it more humorous, not dramatic.
Concept:	3	The concept of iCarly is ok, but over using the newt thing and too much random things is what kills your concept. Just look what I said above and this should fix things up
Prose and formatting:	5	There were a couple of grammar mistakes. To search for these mistakes and correct them, there are two ways you can use. First, theres Microsoft Word, as it has the spellcheck, though its not always reliable, as it can say that the name Carly is wrong but it is actually spelled correcly in the show. The second, and porbaly the best option is the Proofreading service here in Uncyclopedia. They will proofread it for you and fix any mispelling or grammar mistake. All you need is the proofreading template and someone will proofread it. To learn more about it, click Here.
Images:	6	There was alot, though they don't contribute to your article very well and most of them should go. Like the hippo picture, cartoon pictures (except the Spongebob one), Benson's cousin and house, and picture of Mark. The asian one is debatable. And since Chippy doesnt really contribute to the article, you should get rid of the squirrel. You use two of the same picture twice, which is unwise as it gets boring. And the picture of a pregnant woman with the purple shirt is really creepy, and needs to go What you should do is add iCarly pictures from the show instead of random picture and say they are Carly or any other character. To have a photo of Carly pregnant, you can photoshop one or find a photoshoped picture.
Miscellaneous:	5	Average Score.
Final Score:	23	This isn't a bad article, trust me, Ive seen and reviewed worst. But this really needs some work, and I know you can do better. I think you should rewrite it and start from scratch. All it needs is a little love. Just remember, don't overuse things, add at least some truthfulness, more iCarly pictures, and using the grammar helps. If you have any questions, complaints, or anything go to my talk page. Good Luck and watch out for newts!
Reviewer:	-   TALK What's it like to be a heretic?

Thanks for the review. This article was a trimmed down version of User:Hyperbole/ICarly, which was the old iCarly article until it got huffed. Basically, what happened was, some ip noobs turned the iCarly article into an abomination User:Meganew/iCarly (Porn). That got deleted, then the long belly newt article article was created by the two ips and me. (I was basically toning down an article of doom.) That article lived for a while, and some people found it funny. Then someone VFD'd it out of the blue, so I'm trying to fix it to get it back into mainspace. --Mn-z 04:44, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

Wow, looks like his article went through alotIwillKILLyou333 Talk If you dare 22:18, 25 June 2009 (UTC)