Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Unnews: Global Media Panic
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Unnews: Global Media Panic[edit source]
Pieface 16:11, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | I've got to admit, I was expecting worse. You've got a solid concept and quite a few lines of laughter here and there. Your only problem is that it is a bit random. As difficult as it is, try to avoid mentioning A Splode- jokes like that have become somewhat predictable. Also, you sound like you're rambling here and there. A few things you might want to take out include the Russian School of Ballet (lol wat) and Sarkozy- both of those don't really fit with the article. |
| Concept: | 9 | The media dissapointed that the Swine Flu outbreak didn't kill more people-I love it. Quite frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if this showed up in a mainstream newspaper. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | One of the weaker points of the article. I don't think you use commas and periods enough, so it sounds a bit rambling and long-winded. Also, you have an excess of Red links- something you should strive to avoid. I recommend proofreading your article to make more spaces and periods, as well as de-linking a few words to make it look nicer. |
| Images: | 5 | Well, i'm not really a fan of them. That first image isn't really funny, it's just kind of disturbing. Here's an idea: put in a picture of a healthy, ordinary guy, and have a caption along the lines of media around the world are dissapointed about the abundance of healthy people, such as this guy. The second image, along with the caption, don't really belong with the article. I'd recommend just getting rid of that altogether, since there's no regular text that references it. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 33.5 | You've got a lot more than most unknown users do- a solid concept and some decent punchlines. Right now, though, it's a little rough around the edges. All you need to do is make it a bit more presentable, and it might land on VFH. Like I said before, there are quite a few things you can do to patch it up- first, un-link some words to avoid the excess red links- less of those make an article look better. Second, get rid of the French president; Sarkosy doesn't really fit in this kind of article. Finally, get rid of some of the random ramblings you have in there, such as A sploding and the Russian School of Ballet. Great concept, good writing, needs some fine tuning. Good luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 17:40, 6 May 2009 (UTC) | |
