Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Scientific study shows UnNews is better than the Onion
UnNews:Scientific study shows UnNews is better than the Onion[edit source]
Its so true. ----Mgr. Sir Sonic80☭ 03:50, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
Humour: | 5.5 | Not your best work by a long way in my opinion. I liked the "The Onion has officially been debunked as the finest source of news in America. We are sorry, The Onion, but there is nothing you can do to change these results; scientists don't lie. " line. That line had an interesting tone to it, but most of the rest just fell a bit flat for me. It sounded a lot like it had been written by a great Un-News writer who was a big fan of Un-news who was trying to convince everyone that we are better... I wonder why! No really, I agree with your ideas, but you needed to add some more funny in to actually convince the readers...
You skipped over why Un-News is better... Why did ya do that dude!!! Um, Un-News is wiki based. Anyone can edit it, so it's not controlled by one organisation like the onion is. We are "free". Anyone can write a Un-news article about any subject and use it as their method of saying whatever they wish. So long as they are funny doing it, it's cool. Because this is not Wikipedia, we allow a lot more scope in what we will accept. That actually makes Un-New far better in terms of making the world a more open and free place. OK, I'm going over the top here, but you need to say more about why we are better... No adverts in Un-News... Yet. Well, if we ever get loads I myself will stop editing here... I'm sure you have more views on this yourself.... I think you can use clever prose here, and word things in such a way as to explain your point of view in a much more funny way... |
Concept: | 8 | I'm giving you a good score for concept here. As it is this article suxs. However... I know that you are capable of turning this into something awesome. If ever there was a more important title for an Un-News I don't know what it is. There is a lot of scope here to make this a lot better. |
Prose and formatting: | 7 | Not bad I guess. Slightly above the norm, but I was hoping that things would flow a little more nicely from one paragraph to another. |
Images: | 6 | The caption and image was probably the most funny part of the article. It's a tiny image though and does not do the article justice. |
Miscellaneous: | 4 | I'm marking you down here, cos you need an extra kick up the bottom. This needs to be better dude! |
Final Score: | 30.5 | You need to do this again Sonic. I know you are an awesome Un-news writer and this could and should one day be our main featured article. Go to the Onion web site, and try to figure out just why it sux balls. Read the wikipedia entry on them, and do as much research as you can. When you have a better personal view of why they sux, and why we are better try to think of a clever way to portray these views in this article... |
Reviewer: | MrN 09:15, Jul 13 |