Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnBooks:Backstreet Abortionist's Handbook
UnBooks:Backstreet Abortionist's Handbook[edit source]
-- peculiar Ape (baptise) (Riot Porn) 21:34, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | Well, as an UnBook, it's anything but bad, and a worthy effort...but at the same time I can't honestly say it raises any actual laughs in me. Sure, I can see its humouristic value, and like I said it's a worthwhile effort, but ultimatley abortion really is rather overdone as a subject of humour, and the shortness of the article doesn't help much either, and it all ends rather abruptly (see the next section for ideas on how to expand it and perhaps spice up the humour a little.) Ultimatley, I think that you've made a worthy effort in your idea, but it really lacks a certain something in terms of humour...it's not bad, but it's not quite enough to raise an out-loud laugh. |
| Concept: | 6.5 | Hmm...little dissapointed here, too, to be perfectly honest. Now, first of all, I have to say that, as I'm sure you considered before you wrote this, abortion is (as I said) a bit of a worn subject by now in both the serious world and our world of humour. Still, on the other hand, there doesn't seem to be much on backstreet abortion-a subject which has some fair potential. And I must say that I admire how you've laid the subject out without your writing carrying any glaring personal viewpoint that might annoy others.
That said, I must say that you seem to have missed much of the subject's promising potential. I mean, your article, while amusing, really is over pretty fast. I mean, if you gave it some thought, I'm sure there's plenty you could expand on. Chapter three, for instance; there was plenty of room there for giving a detailed description of the process in that lightly sordid sort of humour that many people love (I mean it, they do). And then you could have thrown in one or two other sections-perhaps a series of profiles of people likely to apply as clients of a backstreet abortionist (teenage girl, Evagelist and Islamic women, etc.) Of course, I don't think you should force yourself to overly extend it if you feel you can't (it'll just be detremental to the quality), but if you feel there's more in you, then by all means, lay it out; it'll do a lot. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7.5 | Only found one miniscule error in terms of grammar: "This option has the advantage that you can" would sound more grammatically correct as "This option has the advantage of your being able to". I say this a lot, but little things like that really do make a difference. With regards to everything else; the formatting's fine-the paragraphs are kept neat and concise and the pictures are neatly placed-and as to prose...well, I'd call it average. It's certainly consistant and has the right degree of formaility, but at the same time it doesn't really grab and keep a grip on my attention as much as a prose should. Still, I can't complain too much about this section...generally a good job. |
| Images: | 5 | Hmm...I dunno, mate, they're a bit boring...too ordinary, not bold enough. I mean, backstreet abortion is a hard thing...tough, bloody, vicious...sure, we're trying to be anything but serious here, but the pictures you have are a bit ordinary and universal, and could be used to refer to a lot of things. I'm not asking that you cram the article full of blood-drenched images, far from it, but I think it might be very effective if you add some images that are a bit more darkly humourous, with...yes, with more blood. They'll relate to the article a lot better and really keep the reader in touch with what they're reading about. Yeah, I think that would be very effective, and I'm pretty sure that the wonderful world of the internet has plenty of images like that. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.3 | Averaged, as always. |
| Final Score: | 31.3 | Uh, ultimatley I'd call this a very worthy effort that could use some spicing up. Oh, and as a sidenote, if you're unhappy with my reviewing style, please feel free to drop me a note on my talk page offering some helpful critisism. Good luck! |
| Reviewer: | BlueYonder 23:39, 14 June 2008 (UTC) | |