Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Truth

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Truth[edit source]

Im stumped on what else to write. I mean i really feel like this page needs more.

But anyways, for now, tell me how I'm doing, and give some ideas on what more i can do if possible. Keep in mind, it's not entirely finished.--Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 05:38, July 29, 2010 (UTC) Happymonkey39 LAZAR.gifWeegeeheadbobin.gifDomo kun dance1.gif Dah Meme Master 05:38, July 29, 2010 (UTC)

Ok, I will probably do this. Give me 24 hours. --Some Idiot Image002.png 23:34, August 2, 2010 (UTC)

Humour: 7 There are heaps of good things here, and a few things you could definitely improve. I’ll go through each section as usual, and detail what you could do to make each one better.
  • Introduction: A little short, but it’s good. Expand by first saying what Truth actually is – you start by just saying it’s a lie. Maybe give an overly complicated sentence that tells you what the Truth is, similar to this. Something like that, anyway.
  • History: You’ve got a good concept here, but haven’t used it to it’s potential. This isn’t a great paragraph but with some work it could definitely be improved. I’m sorry I can’t give heaps of advice here, but you’ve got to slow this paragraph down and give more information, use more of this personification to your advantage.
  • Truth in the Media: Maybe call this ‘Truth in the World’ and detail more about how there is no truth in the world. And I don’t really get the ‘being truthful’ part. Slow this down, say it a bit clearer.
  • Truth in the Government: Ha! Very well written, this part.
  • A World With Truth: Good idea, but executed too quickly. Slow down, and tell us how the world would be with truth. What would civilization live off? Would there be chaos, wars, famine? Give an overly gruesome and apocalyptic description.
  • Fight for it: This paragraph has absolutely nothing to with ‘Fighting for the Truth’. Sure, they get into arguments, but that isn’t really what it is. Fighting for the truth is when you’re trying to find the truth about something.
  • Handling It: Good.
Concept: 8 Good concept and you’ve used it well. I think the main idea of this article is that there is practically no truth in the world. Sometimes you seem drift away from this main concept, so make sure you’re on track.
Prose and formatting: 5 Doesn’t look bad. You may need some work on the links, though. Get a few more of them. There are also a number of grammatical and spelling mistakes, which hurt your article deeply. Add the {{Profread}} tag to your page to get some people check that stuff out, because you seriously need to look at that. The biggest reason this score is low is because…
Images: 1 …you have no pictures. I’ve actually given you a ‘1’ as the score here as there are not heaps of pictures you could use. Msybe get a picture of Hitler or George W. Bush and say ‘This guy ALWAYS told the truth’. Get a picture of something that is a lie in this world. Although it may be hard to get some of tehse pictures you could definitely brighten up your article with some good pictures with humorous captions, and the fact that there are none has really hurt your article.
Miscellaneous: 5.25 Averaged your scores. Another short thing: Good quotes, but you culd definitely add some better ones with this concept.
Final Score: 26.25 This article has a good idea and good content, but it’s a bit rushed, has quite a few spelling mistakes. These things have put down this score drastically. However, with the necessary improvements this article could be a lot better then it already is, and definitely go up to the high thirties, or even a forty. Maybe not up to the quality of VFH, but you never know what the Uncyclopedian public are going to say. I hope this has at least half paid you back for your reviews. CYA!
Reviewer: --Some Idiot Image002.png 01:02, August 3, 2010 (UTC)