Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/The Bunfight at the OK Corral
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The Bunfight at the OK Corral[edit source]
Mhaille and I did a fair bit of work on this a while back, and it kinda stalled... any suggestions/improvements welcomed. Asahatter (annoy) 09:34, 18 June 2008 (UTC)
- Sycamore is pissing on your article, for now enjoy Noel with this coupon.--Sycamore (Talk) 12:19, 23 June 2008 (UTC)
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For a bumming session with Noel Fielding |
| Humour: | 8 | Very funny throughout, with every section contributing well, there no aspect here that I felt was weaker the rest. There’s some great intertextuality and puns and this is the kind of great work that is an often a little to rare. As minor criticism I did not get the strange black text in "Do not forsake me oh my darling" section. Otherwise I would say that it is very funny, particularly the images which are some of the best I have seen. There’s a nice tone and there’s no aspect of the writing which I would flag up, its very well written and this (I think) leaves it fairly assured of doing well on VFH. The formatting I myself could not better. The jokes come across well and the film/history parody is very strong. In a very peculiar way it feels quite top heavy – I think the end feels short and a little unfilled, You could (what I would do) is seek to ingrate some of the later sections more fully with the former. From “High Noon” onwards feels quite short – I would perhaps seek to fill this section out a bit, similarly “The Aftermath” is too short, and ideally sections should be fairly equal. The article is likely to read a lot better is this is done and provide more satisfying conclusion |
| Concept: | 8 | Its great to see a some film parody/satire and this works very well, as a minor criticism I think that many will not get all of the gags (I think some have probably flown past me). However this is so minor I would not bother changing it. As an aside I think you could maybe fill of the Marx reference - You could perhaps tie in with Soviet cinema - this of course is probably a bit overly ambitious. Other than that I personally could net see where you could realistically expand the piece, overall very strong indeed. |
| Prose and formatting: | 8 | Good, dome lists at the beginning, the quasi scene setting of the "Piano music" is a tad dodgy, I think they detract. The puns are very good as well as the overall writing though out. I could not find any typos or anything of that kind - again a very strong showing |
| Images: | 8.5 | As I said before some of the best image work I have seen, the captions are funny and the images don't look too doctored or amateurish which is something that regularly detracts form articles. As minor gripe the Childs one is the weakest link here, I personally thought the vintage look of the others was consistent with the period, as well as being funnier. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9 | It s a great article, I would be very surprised to see it do poorly on VFH, It’s an excellent contribution to the site |
| Final Score: | 41.5 | Should you need anything just leave a note on my talk page - good luck with your article;) |
| Reviewer: | --Sycamore (Talk) 12:10, 25 June 2008 (UTC) | |