Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Sweeney Todd
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Sweeney Todd[edit source]
I wrote an article a while ago. Then I forgot about it. Then I remembered it. I now hereby request tips to turn this delicate little sprout of an article into a big nasty sprout that you don't screw around with, man! Thanks in advance. Cryst 21:45, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
- Sycmrore is reviewing your article, in the maen time enjoy Noel with this free coupon--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:11, 14 June 2008 (UTC)
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For a bumming session with Noel Fielding |
| Humour: | 5 | Personally I think it was fairly weak throughout. I think a key issue is that it is a.)Badly put together and B that is has too many references to the film and the quasi historical Todd-I would concentrate your focus on the more real element and avoid the poor Tim Burton film. I also think there are some fairly random references like the bride of Frankenstein pic-why s that there. Similarly here are number of these references which are too broad and I think some degree of focus should be adopted here. Similarly the piece is very long indeed, particularly since there isn't actually a lot you appear to be saying-not much humour factor here. I would take a much more focused attitude towards the charter of Todd rather than jus the flung together stuff there at them moment |
| Concept: | 5 | Alright-I have to say that I think Prettiestpretty's take is far better, it’s more focused and overall a lot more funny-I would look to this article for a bit of inspiration. Sweeny Todd is a difficult topic to parody well-similarly the article will constantly be referred to the recent film rather than the actual Sweeny Todd-most certainly a difficult concept to work well-if you do you'll be a star writer on the site. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | Very poor Infobox/wikipedia template aligned wrong, red linkage everywhere, and large clunky paragraphs. Filled with random and unfunny references and story’s-just badly put together. Most of the paragraphs are too long and are too random to be funny; I would say that you simply don't focus on the topic well. |
| Images: | 4 | None if the images make a reference to Sweeny Todd - I would change all three of these. Yu may want to use some more vintage style images which give more period feel, these are too random and not really adding to the humour of the article |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | It needs to focus more closely to the "real life" Todd or at least some sort of caricature that creates more focused biographical account |
| Final Score: | 23 | Good luck, if you need anything jut leave a note on my talk page |
| Reviewer: | --— Sir Sycamore (talk) 09:25, 16 June 2008 (UTC) | |