Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Old Git's Guide to D&D

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Old Git's Guide to D&D

HOORAY FOR ALL FLAMMABLE OBJECTS! Ж Kalir _{potentially sexier than you} 19:34, 28 May 2008 (UTC)

Humour:	5	Starts out strong, but quickly gets repetitive. I thought it was going to start by setting the scene, and then going somewhere, but it never really goes very far from the starting block. Don't get me wrong, there's some nice lines; it really needs a sense of escalation, rather than just an ongoing screed. Perhaps start with the stronger aspects of early D&D, and gradually bring in the sillier aspects, as the narrator gets more and more strident as his argument gets weaker.
Concept:	8	The reason I like this article is the concept. You've hit a potentially rich seam of observational humour, you just need to exploit it better. Didn't like the title - if it's a guide for old gits, why is the old git doing the explaining? Perhaps How to be a REAL roleplayer, or something along those lines. The narrator also varies his line of attack too often. Sometimes, it looks like he's putting down D&D 3rd ed onwards, then he turns around and is explaining D&D from the ground up and attacking computer RPGs. Perhaps concentrate on one, or else have him bring up earlier computer RPGs like Bard's Tale as superior to Final Fantasy et al?
Prose and formatting:	6	I haven't proof read it thoroughly, but there's nothing egregiously wrong with the spelling or grammar. I just didn't like the stereotypical "old codger" style; which would be more appropriate for making fun of children of the 1930s and 40s than of the '70s and '80s, the typical age for old roleplayers. Perhaps some more time-appropriate references than just the recession bit. "I was into Rick Ashley before he was ironic" or something. Also look up some of the actual terms used in early D&D - knight and sorcerer? Much too cool. They were fighters and magic-users, back in the day.
Images:	0	No images. Why not? There should be easy to find plenty.
Miscellaneous:	5	Average
Final Score:	24	I saw the title, and I really wanted to enjoy this article. Certainly, there's potential here, but there's not a lot actually here yet. Throw in some pictures, make the humour escalate, make it more internally consistent, put in more gamer nerd in-jokes, and then I think you've got something.
Reviewer:	--Cap'n Sir Ben GUN WotM VFH VFP 02:47, 29 May 2008 (UTC)