Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Mrs God's Blog
Mrs God's blog[edit source]
Ok Read it, love it, gonna break it down in sections as in depth as possible -- Sir ACROLO KUN • FPW • AOTM • FA •(SPAM) 08:28, 24 June 2009 (UTC)
Sog1970 22:36, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
| Mrs. God's blog is Being Reviewed By Sir ACROLO KUN • FPW • AOTM • FA •(SPAM) Your #1 Source for beer flavoured Pee And Hydroponically grown venus fly traps |
| Humour: | 9 | HILLARIOUS! Witty, sharp, so well written. Now dont think im simply smothering you with false information here, i mean what i say and i say what i mean. You bring out the female sterotypes we all enjoy so well and in such a creative tone and manner. I wont say every aspect is absolutely perfect but very close enough. The only problems i had was with the rehab idea and the commandments. My personal suggestion would be to rework the Coke addiction into something more suitable to someone who is the least likely to be a junkie struggling with addiction. Id go for something like a business trip, as the tone for this is set in a housewife kind of theme and Mrs God could be waiting like an ordinary housewife for her hubby to come back from a business trip involving some obscure deal which only God would be involved in. |
| Concept: | 10 | Ok yes this is one of the best concepts ive ever seen on this site, you stuck to the concept from start to finish and you did it damn well and before i nom this article im gonna break it down step by step:
May 20 Now this article can start off much better and you know it. It starts off a bit too offensively with the drug thing, a lighter more subtle tone for the beginning could do wonders. Id say stick to the awesome innocent, bored housewife tone you used for the rest of the article and perhaps how God is out doing the usual, yet unusual to us if you know what i mean :P. May 21 Loved it had no problems with this section, I lolled so hard at the painting the gates pink thing. Brilliant idea lol. May 22 Now the commandments idea is also very witty, changing it around in a 21st style, yet it feels almost as though you lacked some ideas here. Id say broaden this section's humour and perhaps make it a little more readable in certain areas. Its about the only section which could use a little more work. May 25 I Like the Jesus is a rebel idea lol, but personally i wouldnt go with the Murdering G and incest stuff, little bit disturbing coming out of a sweet lady like Mrs God's mouth. Id rework that into something like the mean therapist asked him about <Insert dirty nun joke here> May 26 Love this section too, id expand the rewriting the book thing a little, the bible is after all a huge book lol but i am not suggesting go and rewrite the bible, just add more than just the genisis beginning part or add more about the genisis part... like maybe Mrs god being upset that they hardly mention females in Genesis besides eve. May 27 This section is also well written, just the drug thing again XD, Jealous overprotective mother part... Love it. lol. May 28 Love the way you brought evolution and big bang theories into it! Absolutely nothing wrong with this section according to me lol. May 29 French part is a bit unfunny, consider possibly replacing with something similar, yet maybe not a specific ethnic group? This section could be expanded a bit too, its kinda short, but definitely alot of funny parts in there. June 1 You ended the article very well with the collecting money idea. At first i thought, why would God need money, but then i saw how it emphasises the fact that churches collect money and how this section rips it off, brilliant lol. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Overall your grammar is near perfect, however May 22 there is the become (Plural) error and certain parts are slightly difficult to read, also check your grammar error in the sentence under May 29, minor nothing serious, id chage it for you, but id rather not touch someone elses article and simply point it out. |
| Images: | 8.8 | Your images accomodate your article brilliantly, id remove 1 or 2 though, like the random tom jones one, resistance and resistance is futile. Other than that Kudos, must take alot of effort to find images so suitable for the article. |
| Miscellaneous: | 9.7 | My overall score for this article.. Brilliantly written, i love it. |
| Final Score: | 46.5 | Well done, i loved reviewing this article and i hope my opinion is worthy, i truly think this could be a VHF article with very little editisations. Kudos |
| Reviewer: | -- Sir ACROLO KUN • FPW • AOTM • FA •(SPAM) 08:28, 24 June 2009 (UTC) | |