Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/James Brown
User:Under user/James Brown[edit source]
So this rewrite's been gathering little but dust recently - I started it with good intentions, and I think there's an idea or two in there, but I am suffering from a terrible case of writer's block at the moment, and I'm stuck. I do think it's better than the current article, but I'm hoping a helpful review might toss up a good idea or two to help me get this into a decent enough shape, so I'd prefer it if one of my PEEING colleagues took a look for me. Thanks! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 09:19, May 8
 | BACK OFF! Javascap is currently reviewing this article! |
All right, I toook a bit of a Unbreak, and I am back in. I am now going to pee on this article... stand back!
| Humour: | 8 | It is very clear that HTBFANJS was read for this particular article. I was most interested in the opening, painting almost a biographical account of his career, which, when the quotation followed it, almost set up a joke. The “How Damn Funky” section really worked out, you got me to chuckle at that one. I liked the section where you were talking about his “nicknames, well done, nice and decent. If a 7 is a decent average, I would say an 8 works here.
I noticed you asked for ideas, and honestly, if I had good ideas I probably would write stuff more. From what I am seeing, however, you could use an example of “Absurd” once or twice (You would know when enough is enough!). |
| Concept: | 9 | Very… um, interesting, I suppose. While I will admit I am not particularly acquainted with James Brown music, or even with the author, I will say that you have a nice article rolling in here. I did like how you emphasised that the noises James Brown made were just him reaching the far corners, I will, honestly, say that this article was well written and clearly thought through. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | Thank goodness this was written fully in British (proper) English. Deliberate, defined, well written sentences, combined with sarcastic/humourous/satirical additions, served to make this article. The heavy-handed inclusions, including that of “working into his 70’s” really made this entire section. I am, however, a bit confused. What on earth is with the link to Spang’s userpage? Honestly, it makes no sense at all, and unless there is a very good reason to keep it in… well *hands you an eraser*. Aside from that… you need more links, honestly, 10 in this article seems a bit spread out and unused. |
| Images: | 6 | Well, it certainly isn’t bad, but at the same time, this section could use a little touchup. I will only give a 6 in this category because, frankly, there is only one image in the entire article, and it’s so… small. While I am not afraid to admit that the caption is good, and the image looks good enough for me, I think you could improve in this section by:
Untill then, I don’t think this article gets more than a 6. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7.5 | Avg’d as per Clan Guidelines |
| Final Score: | 39.5 | Another great article shaping up, I am not afraid to admit. You asked for suggestions, and here they are!
As I said, great job, keep it up, and I look forward to the end product. Good luck! |
| Reviewer: | Warm Regards, Javascap | |