Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/I fucked your mother (actual review this time)

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I fucked your mother

The last review I got was a pretty useless review, if anyone could give me ideas on this writing style would be good, I've seen it used and work well before so I would appreciate being pointed in the right direction. —The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 16:15, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey, I tried to give you an honest review. I've never seen that writing style work well and I didn't think it was effective for the article. To say you don't agree with my review is one thing but to call it useless is harsh.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

You left a signle line on each section saying it was rubbish each time, that is not a helpful review, look at the ones everyone else gives, one line reviews are not reviews.--—The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 09:26, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I've seen the other ones, but I couldn't think of any helpful comments for you. It seemed in my opinion, completely off. If there were specific things that I thought could fix it, I would've mentioned them.

Oh, and this is unrelated, but what the fuck is the miscellanious section for cuz I never have any idea what to put there.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 14:05, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I think you might find that here--    14:15, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Ok, I pretty much figured that, that's what I put for my reviews, but I kinda thought I was wrong because I didn't get why they would have it there.

And once again, and I can't stress this enough, I meant NO offense towards you in my review. I got a lot of hate for that review, but truthfully, it just didn't make me laugh at all. Maybe that's just me, but please don't try to make me look like an asshole. If you look at most of my other reviews, most are not quite that bad, and everybody has their off-moments.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 00:02, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the review, will get on the grammar right away, it is meant to run down the narrative annoyingly but I suppose it is pretty nihilistic to have to read through it, will improve that now, the ending is new after the first review from chedderBBQ said the original didn't work. Will add some images and put it up here for a third. Thanks for the feedback, I would appreciate the list of improvements very much. --—The preceding signed comment was added by Projectmayhem666 (talk • contribs). 10:30, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	6	This is funny shit. BUT - it can be funnier. I honestly think the joke works, and I feel like I do understand the style you are going for. That said, ironically, it will be funnier, I believe, if you tone down the run-on style, and actually fix a good deal of the grammar. The prose & formatting section will be more explicit about this. If we can do this, then I think the humor can be increased by expanding it even further.
Concept:	8	I think this is a funny idea, and pretty original. I love the subtle little surprise at the very end <spoiler>(going into your office - turns out you work with this guy! I don't know why, but for me that somehow makes it even worse than a best friend)</spoiler>, and I want to see the article improved so more people will be willing to make their way through it to get to it.
Prose and formatting:	4	OK, here's where I feel you can fix it. As it is, the narrative is too annoying. Since I decided to do this review, and because the article did make me laugh, I plowed my way through it. I think others will not. Before you jump up and down crying that that will ruin your idea - I beg to differ. The writing style needs to be just a little more attractive for this to work as well as it could. But don't ruin the character; I like this character, and the style. I just think you can draw the reader in better by keeping the irreverant and sloppy writing style but just reduce it some. I will find specific examples for you after I post this.
Images:	7	MILF on that first one, that's for sure. The burger image is funny too - there is one of the "bad" P&F mistakes there though: "ba ba ba ba baa I'm lovin' it and shit". One or two more images would not hurt, especially if they are funny.
Miscellaneous:	6.5	Averaged. Ish.
Final Score:	31.5	Funny concept. Worth fixing. So give me some time and I will list (but lists aren't funny!) some examples of "tone-down" grammar error fixes I think it could benefit from. If you care. Sign your posts, kemosabe. I was the worst offender at that until the cabal (which doesn't exist?) reprogrammed me.
Reviewer:	TPLN 22:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)