Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo: Kill someone with a spoon

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HowTo: Kill someone with a spoon

If someone can please review it, and maybe edit it, i would be happy!! Thanks

- player2- 09:21, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Just to say, normally someone reviews it and then you do the edits. That's kinda the point. :\ ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 00:15 19 May 2009

Humour:	3	Well, I don't think you develop your concept enough to warrant a solid article, and you don't really get in-depth with your idea. You talk about the spoon itself, the history of the art, but I never really felt like the article corresponded to it's title- if someone came to this looking for a guide to killing someone with a spoon, they wouldn't really walk away with any useful information. You should focus your article on the act of killing someone, as you need much more than the line "attaaaackkkk!!". I think you should lay it own more or less like this: Step 1: Finding your weapon Step 2: Getting your victim alone or something like that- ignore history and such; it doesn't fit well with a HowTo.
Concept:	4	As stated above, you need to make your concept more similair to that of a guide. If you wanted to make an article on the actual act of killing someone with a spoon, then make it under Spoon Killing, or something like that. Another issue with your concept is that the writing itself can be a bit problematic- lists aren't fun to read (more about that in P&F), and you might need encounter difficulties getting long, in-depth sections with a concept like this. It may sound cliche, but you should probably read HTBFANJS- it's very helpful when you're writing. Also, I think you need to rework your first paragraph- it's mildly amusing, but second person ranting doesn't really fit well with a HowTo.
Prose and formatting:	2.5	You've made a rooky mistake here- throughout the article, you have lists. A major rule on Uncyclopedia is that you never, ever, ever use lists- they're boring and tedious to read, as drag your article down as a whole. For example, in Step 3, trasfer your list in the form of a paragraph- such as "it's preferrable that you know your victim's weight, as well as...- paragraphs are much more enjoyable to read, and give you a lot more breathing room writing wise, as you can always add to them without it seeming like cruft. Your second major problem is your lack of images- Steps 2, 3, and 4 are tedious to read, as they don't have any picutres to compliment them. Take those 3 sections and make them into paragraphs, preferrably long ones, and throw an image in each of them- images always help when writing an article, and articles have a way of looking like WIPs without the proper amount of images. Finally, your list images overlaps into two seperate sections- i'd recommend getting rid of the "caution" section, as well as slightly scaling down the size of the image.
Images:	5	The problem here is that there aren't enough images to correspond with your text- HowTos typically have one image for each step or direction, as they feel more like guides when they're illustrated. A few ways you can go with images on this one is maybe a picture of a guy holding a spoon in a threatening way, or a deserted alley as a representative of the "getting someone alone" part of the article. Really, there are a lot of ways you could go here, so if you brainstormed and really put some thought into this, the end result could be excellent.
Miscellaneous:	3.5	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	18	Your concept is your main problem, as you really don't write it in the form of a HowTo. I think you should rework this so that you have long, thorough paragraphs with an image for each section, as stated above. The trick here will be making it sound like a guide- like I said, you should probably read HTBFANJS if you get stuck; it's very helpful even to some veteran writers. You might have to take some time on this, but if you really put some work into this, the end result could be wonderful. Bottom Line: Write it more like a HowTo, make your lists into paragraphs. Good luck! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 21:03, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for reviewing, looks like its not really good i will try to take car of it when i have time