Hi, I created this article ex nihilo, and I think it could be a nice, concise feature. My worry is that, like my overuse of Latin phrases, its a bit too philosophical. Knucmo2 13:31, 3 April 2008 (UTC)
Philosophy major, away! Le Cejak • <Apr 03, 2008 [15:04]>
| Humour:
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7.6
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avg of each section, Knucmo2. Review for the changes you made
- Intro
[7] [8]: Hmmm, well lemme see. The way to make this more interesting is to, as you say in your tip down there, to not make it obvious. I figured that an article on arguing would be arguing with the reader. I wrote an article similar in spirit to this one, Why?:Give Up. You have to argue with the reader without "letting the cat out of the bag". If you tell the reader that you're arguing with them, the joke has reached its punchline. Go through and edit out the parts that tell the reader you're arguing with them. Just some advice... I like the angle you took here. More like an article about arguing than an argument about arguing. Coo'.
- 1 The Situation
[5] [7]: Ah, philosophy class. A load of old "Cant"? You mean Kant? Oh anyway, I didn't understand the point of this section. I've sat in phil classes a LOT in my day, but I don't remember anything about toilet paper, ha. Make it clear that this is an example of an argument, because as it is, it caught me off guard with its awkwardness, sad to say. Talk about debate class or something, too. The tip thing, which I'll count as part of this section, boosted your score a little: good job on that! Yes, more concrete than before, plus more examples. Also, I think it's more clear what's going on.
- 2 First Thing [7]: I'm beginning to notice your style: it's nice! Is it from writing so many philosophy essays? I remember that feeling. Anyway, good writing along with okay jokes make this a 7. I would expand this section if I were you. same
- 3 Circle Work
[6] [7]: Ah, so this is about arguing in a classroom proper. Okay, I see. You should make that blatantly clear in the introduction to this article. It's not about arguing with people in traffic or arguing with people randomly in the barbershop, it's about being in a class and arguing. I graded you down because this section is too short, but I like the idea here: see Circle and Begging the question. Slightly better. I like how the setting is still a classroom.
- 4 Use that Beard! [8]: This section was funny anyway, but that picture sold me. "You lose"? Classic Knucmo2. same
- 5 The Last Straw [9]: I don't give 9's easily. Perfect length, great mix of over-the-top craziness and reality. Definitely a good note, there. BTW, there's a wikicode for having a little [1] at the top that takes you to the bottom of the page: Take a look at Plagiarism. same
- 6 In summa [7]: Satisfactory ending, I believe. same, although it's not an ending anymore
- 7 Post script [7]: I like this ending slightly more. Not so much more to give it an 8 or anything, but it's good.
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| Concept:
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7
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Good idea, because there are so many directions you could take this. You went with the classroom version, however there are lots of directions you could take and questions readers could ask:
- Why have an argument?
- Why not have an argument?
- Where is the best place to have an argument? (List a bunch of places and claim they're all horrible places to have an argument)
- What should I do before an argument to make sure I win? (have some coffee, red bull, take a shower, etc.)
- How do I know if I won an argument?
- What do I win? (answer: nothing)
Aawwww, you didn't use any of my suggestions! Perhaps you should consider it? I feel like this would be VFH if there was just one or two more new sections. Honestly.
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| Prose and formatting:
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10
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Perfection.
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| Images:
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8
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I liked both of 'em. Not sure if that was a perfect 10, though.
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| Miscellaneous:
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8.2
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avg'd via {{Pee|6|7|10|9}} {{Pee|7.6|7|10|8}}
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| Final Score:
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40.8
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Can it be? Another philosophy major in Uncyclopedia? Well, reading and thinking about crazy shit got me where I am today in this dump. ...and maybe that's why I'm trying to go into psych grad school. This article isn't VFH, but you should be very proud of yourself. If you address all of my concerns, for example sections 1 and 3 and the questions posed in the concept, you would have an award winning article on your hands. Call me if you have any questions! Come back to me when you want to, Knucmo2. Awesome article, but not VFH yet.
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| Reviewer:
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Le Cejak • <Apr 03, 2008 [15:41]>
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