Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/HowTo:Count to 1 (again)
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HowTo:Count to 1 [edit source]
In depth is all I ask. --
16:25, April 12, 2012 (UTC)
- Ask and ye shall receive. --OliOmniOmbudsman
00:37, April 13, 2012 (UTC)
- Undone previous review due to lack of substance. Nominally Humane! 04:26 16 Apr
| Humour: | 4 | Intro section:The humor here counts too much on the reader being familiar with the song with the lyrics "one is the loneliest number". Younger readers may not be familiar with that song. Then there's the part about one being difficult and dangerous to count to. It does not mention in the article why it is so difficult about counting to one (since most people obviously don't have much trouble with this most of the time). You probably could lead into the next section here, since the next section deals with preparation. The "preparation" section: Seems like its here and there, and generally all over. In other words, it doesn't fit together quite coherently, but it almost sounds like it was written by someone with attention deficit disorder, with the exception of the part about meditation, then it goes off on a tangent again. I couldn't tell whether this was intentional or not. The section about "accepting you're probably going to die" is good, and the asploding head picture fits well into this section. I can't think of anything obvious to improve here. The final section, "the counting" could have a touch more ominous anticipation to it. Overall, could be better, but I've also seen a lot worse. |
| Concept: | 7 | The concept here seems to be that counting to one (which most people know to be simple and easy) is really difficult and dangerous. Its a hard sell, possible but difficult to do well. As mentioned above, this concept does not seem to be "sold" well enough in the intro part to be credible. Perhaps more effort into convincing the reader to believe you would help here, or some sort of credentials that establish you as an authority or expert at counting to one. |
| Prose and formatting: | 9 | I did not find any major issues with grammar or punctuation in this article. As to writing style, overall great job. However as mentioned above, the preparation section does not fit together logically: the ideas do not flow smoothly. The article does not seem to answer questions of "how" and "why" that the reader may be asking in the course of reading the article. |
| Images: | 6 | The asploding head image is almost overused on Uncyclopedia, but it seems to work here. I like the picture of Ganesh as symbolic of meditation, though a person cross-legged in a yoga pose would also work. The exploding earth image at the bottom is funny, but is not really mentioned in the text of the article (here's where the idea about having a longer, more ominous anticipation of the number one comes in, and maybe some mention of possible danger to the earth). |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | I averaged your score, here's the result. |
| Final Score: | 32.5 | Not too bad to start an article, but still needs a lot of polishing. Some people may not get the humor in certain sections. As a How To article, it may help to establish some resemblance of credibility, such as phony credentials, rather than taking for granted that you are an expert on the subject. The preparation section does not flow together smoothly, but this may have been intentional. Fix these points, and you will have a better article. Overall, great effort, and thanks for taking the time to write new articles and read this review. I hope this review is in-depth enough for you, since I don't Pee Review often, and probably have a lot to learn about pee reviewing. If you have specific questions, ask me on my talk page. Thanks! |
| Reviewer: | -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:52, April 16, 2012 (UTC) | |