Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/History of New England (quick)

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History of New England

I'm pretty pleased with the way this turned out and am planning a VFH run. What says the reviewer? - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 19:18, Jun 21

Review in progress. IronLung 01:16, 23 June 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	8.1	Very comical indeed. Allow me to break this down section by substantial section: Early history: 8. The New Coke metaphor is well done, as is the line about divorce. The earlier jokes in this section are a little stale to be honest: God loves white people, white people stole Native Americans' land, etc. all get easy joke points but aren't particularly fresh. Less early history: 6.5. I liked the mixed metaphor about boats, drummers and grains, but that was about it here I'm afraid. Explaining the joke about the thinkers' pompous speech destroys any funny it might have elicited. It might be better to end the paragraph briefly with a line like "Pompous assholes." or something of that sort. Also, the lines said are not actually funny on their own. Either the punchline or the lines have to change to make this joke work. Even less early history: 8.5. Good. The least earliest history of all: 9.5. Randomness in this section is pulled off exceedingly well; this should be a lesson to all editors who think that adding a non sequitur in the middle of every sentence equals comedy gold. The list of sports teams mounts the insanity curve in a very pleasing way. The future: 10. Perfect.
Concept:	7	Reads like a fairly ignorant but comical rap about some place you've never been to or don't care about. I like. However, the content and themes seem a lot like a rewrite of the New England article. This is obviously not intentional, but it does detract a little from the overall quality of the article. Tis the pitfall of writing an article about stereotypes, I guess.
Prose and formatting:	9	Okay, your prose is excellent. I found the heading/subheading combo of Even less early history/Economic development to be completely unnecessary, given that there are no other subsections to this section. One of them must go. The formatting of the pictures is great, and you have only kept the good red links. Well done.
Images:	6.5	These images mostly serve their purpose, but don't add much in the way of funnies to the article. The New Coke and crystal ball pics are great. The baked potato in a manger picture is so irrelevant that the only emotion it stirred in me was "WTF". I get that the New Englanders were Puritans, but this is an image of a potato in Jesus' manger. Um, yeah. The New England map is bland and the caption is too; I would suggest some scenery instead.
Miscellaneous:	8.5	This is not an average score.
Final Score:	39.1	I like this article. My favourite articles are lies about real things. It needs a little touch-up, then it will be VFH ready. Good job Leddy.
Reviewer:	IronLung 02:15, 23 June 2009 (UTC)